a little truth

"There is more to life than increasing its speed."
-Gandhi

Haven't felt like I've had a lot to say lately. And now I'm going to have a busy weekend. Will attempt to post cool quotes when I find them.

Check back someday.

non-blog

Sorry I've not been posting lately. For some reason, I seem to have a lot on my plate at the moment. Of course, for most people that would mean they must be working really hard and making lots of money. I'm still trying to figure out the money part.

More later.

good one

"Do not pay too much attention to fame, power, or money. Someday you will meet a person who cares for none of these and then you will know how poor you are."

-Rudyard Kipling

great gig

It's always so weird to me. Last night, I was all but praying the rain/snow/sleet would just start hammering down which would mean everybody would just stay home, which would me there really wouldn't be any reason for me to pack up the sound system and go play my Arsaga's gig. Mostly this feeling is brought on by the frustration that I don't have any new songs to play. (that is a story for another blog...)

However, the evil weather did not fall upon us, and I went to the gig. When we got there, the place was full of what looked like young (loud) high schoolers. Of course, it's a toss up as to whether this situation is preferrable to showing up and nobody being there. But this has happened before, and I didn't worry too much about it, because (with my sound system) I can be way louder than the kids and when I start playing. They usually start getting tired of trying to flirt, freak out, be weird over the noise that I'm making and usually clear out pretty quickly. Not last night.

They hung around quite awhile and just talked (yelled) louder. It was pretty annoying, especially for the people sitting anywhere near the kids that might have actually been trying to hear me. More than anything it made me wonder how/when/where I picked up the particular notion, that if you are anyplace where somebody is performing, it is only right to be respectful. That doesn't mean that you can't visit with your friends, drink your coffee, read your paper...it's not a lecture class. But AT LEAST, don't try to talk louder than the performer. That wondering led to my wondering how/where/when/why these kids missed picking up that particular bit of courtesy.

Finally, before I got too mad and said things I shouldn't into the microphone, I tried to good-naturedly asked if they could just not yell/screa during the songs. I told them they could be as nutty and loud as they wanted to in between songs if they could just chill during. This helped. In fact, then they started contributing to the tip jar and a couple even bought CDs! Weird... (Could it be an indication that we humans actually want boundaries? hmmm....)

Anyway, in addition to the kids, there were a number of other people who seemed to actually be there to hear the gig. We sold a fair # of CDs for a coffee house gig, and it's always nice to see pockets of people (including another group of older high schoolers) who were really digging the show. All in all, it was a really fun night. If you were there, thanks for coming! Next gig is Feb. 19th, be sure to bring your friends!

The Phantom of the Opera

On monday afternoon, Holly and I went to a matinee. We try to do this as much as we can because Monday is Holly's day off and we like seeing movies for cheap. We've not been able to do it for awhile because I've had a standing recording session on monday afternoons for awhile, but my client was out of town this monday.

We'd heard that Phantom of the Opera was good, so we went.

First a little history of me and the Phantom of the Opera: When I was in high school in the middle of wheat fields in Kansas, I was a huge fan. I had a two-tape (we had those back then, if you don't know what tapes are, ask your parents...) set of the complete soundtrack of the original london production with Michael Crawford as the Phantom and Sarah Brightman as Christine. I had the sheet music. I knew all the songs and sort of knew the story. (It's harder to really get the story of a stage play when you're only hearing it...) and this was one of the reasons I hated that I lived NW Kansas and thought I would NEVER get to actually see the Phantom of the Opera.

Finally, when I was 23 or 24 and married to Holly, a stage production of the Phantom was coming to Kansas City when we lived in Manhattan. I don't remember how much it cost, but I know that it was pretty significant for our newlywed budget. We were both really excited to see it.

It was horrible. It was a huge disappointment. To be honest, I don't even remember if the performances we good or bad. It was just a smaller production and the special effects were ridiculously cheesy and the volume was so quiet that it ruined that it ruined the whole thing for me. (When the phantom's theme comes on, "Duhhhhhhh....du-du-du-du-duh....." it NEEDS to be shaking the rafters. In this production, we really had to strain to hear it at all.) All that to say, I was so dissappointed that since seeing that production, I decided that I really didn't even like musicals at all.

So, what how could I expect to respond to a movie directed by the guy who made the most awful Batman movie? (Batman & Robin)? Well, it made me like the musical again. It was an enjoyable movie and it reallly is a great musical. They did a great job with the movie. However...

The Phantom sucked rocks! I don't know who this guy is or how he got this role, but he very nearly ruined the movie for me. A major point of the story is that the phantom is supposed to be this musical, mechanical, psychological genius. But mostly musical!! He's been training Christine in secret and is supposed to be the BEST voice tutor ever. When he starts singing, he's supposed to have the purest, most enchanting, beautiful singing voice that anyone in the opera house has ever heard! The guy in the movie sounded un-trained, un-controlled and just horrible. I like great rock voice (bono) as much or more than the next guy, but I don't think that's what this role called for nor do I think this guy had even that. I cannot imagine how in the world he got this role.

ok. rant over.

Thanks For Nothin' in the studio

So, I've been slow on bloggin lately. I'm really not good at multi-tasking. Last week, Chris and I spent a day visiting almost all the music stores in NW Arkansas and putting up posters and handing out cards to get the word out about East Hall Recording (www.easthall.com)

This is kind of weird for me in that it's the closest thing to an actual "business venture" I've ever had a part in. Obviously, since it's been so long since I've had what anybody would call a job, I've kind of accidently found myself being my own boss and "running a business" whether it was booking gigs and selling CDs or producing records for other artists out of my home studio.

This is different in that there's more riding on this than keeping me and Holly afloat. I have a partner, and the facility has overhead. scary...

Anyway, the "promotional day tour" went really well. We talked to a lot of people and happened onto a number of people who mentioned they were needing to get their respective band into the studio (and have we got a studio for you....)

Saturday, we had our first "official" recording session with a great local band called Thanks for Nothin'. They're a great bunch of guys that are writing really good songs and the lead singer is incredible. We're wrapping up some overdubs on Saturday and then Chris and I will mix the 5 songs that we've done.

So, that's what I've been up to.

Other than that, I finished Song of Susannah last night and am starting The Dark Tower, the final book in the series, tonight.

cruise over

7 days of balmy tropical sun. 7 days- 4 countries (including US) and exploring new sights, sounds, and tastes. 7 days of eating all kinds of fancy exotic food being served to me at what amounts to a 5 star place. 7 days of somebody else picking up after me and making the bed 3 times a day, somebody else doing all the dishes. 7 days of not really thinking about real life or bills or how am i going to make some money to pay bills, etc.

I've been home 4 days. It's been rainy and getting colder. I'm trying to find new clients for the new the recording studio (www.easthall.com), and I don't know how we're going to pay the bills. It's a new year and there are a couple of resolutions i definately should make.... Of course, if I don't make'em, I won't break'em.

The cruise is definately over.

shackblog

So, we're currently in Houston at my friend's house and we and the Powers are getting around to head to the port to board our cruise ship!

I thought I'd check my email one more time before being disconnected from email/internet for the next 7 days. Then I find an email from CDbaby saying that they've sent me some money for digital downloads (i.e. things like itunes!)

This is the first time I've received a payment like this, so it's pretty cool. Also, I'm again impressed with CDbaby. If you've not spent any time out at CDbaby.com, you should check it out. And tell all your friends they need to download some songs from shack! :)

I hope everybody's had a safe and Happy New Years eve celebration. We're going to be spending the next 7 days soaking up the sun on Norwegian Cruise Lines. I'll fill you in when we get back.

Nightflying Birthday Bash- report

Last night I was invited to play for Nightflying's 24th Anniversary Bash at George's Majestic Lounge. The details were pretty vague and when we got there, we found out that we were supposed to play 3rd on the stage that was out back. There were 5 bands playing on 2 different stages.

Well, we were waiting around to play and then got bumped to 4th in the lineup. I wasn't really excited about waiting around all night to play, but that didn't bother me as much as with every band I realized that we did not fit in with that crowd.

Realize that I've never been really comfortable in a bar setting. I've played in some clubs and bars off and on, but I've never really hung out in bars or been very comfortable in them, so I wasn't sure how I was going to go over in this situation anyway. Then, I'm realizing that every one of the bands playing out on the patio stage are total blues bands rocking out for all they're worth. I have nothing wrong with that, but for anybody who's ever heard me play, you know that I am totally not blues/rock out kind of musician.

Not only am I realizing how much I will not fit in with the flow of the evening out back, I'm also realizing that I would fit in so much better with the acts performing up front. By the 4th act up front, 3 had been acoustic/solo performers and one non-blues band. So, by that time I talked to Joe Giles, who was supposed to be up next. I'd never met Joe, but I knew he had a rockin' band and that they did rock and blues type set. I simply asked if he cared about playing up front or out back and he said it didn't matter. Hallelujah! So, about two songs before we were supposed to get up to play, we were swapped. Unfortunately, the band out back was still playing and all of our instruments were stuck behind that band.

Anyway, this is weird to explain how it happened. The thing is, I just figured I'd play the gig because I was asked to, but I didn't really expect anybody to give a rip or even listen, no matter whether we played the front or the back. Much to my amazement, I was completely wrong! Granted, there were a ton of people (both members and fans of the female band that had played earlier) that were there when we started the set, and not by the time we ended. But, the people that were around really seemed to listen and really seemed to dig it! And not only that, but we had a great time.

And then, as we were tearing down, this guy comes up to me and introduces himself as a manager of George's and starts talking about how they have all kinds of people playing in there and that he really enjoyed what we did. So, apparently he might be coming to my Arsaga's gig tonight, and seemed really interested in trying to get me on some opening slots of some of the bigger bands that they get playing in there! Crazy!

So, all that to say: we ended up having a great night and it may end up being way more beneficial than I ever thought it was going to be. Thank you so much to Nightflying for inviting me to play.

Producer Perils

I'm in the middle of producing a young singer/songwriter's first record.

I don't claim to know everything, and honestly I'm making it up as I go a lot of the time, however, I have done this a couple of times. And before I started producing for other people, I spent about 7 years living off my music, making my own records, and getting them out there and selling them to people. I don't know everything, but I am way farther down the road than a lot of people.

The other thing is that I am a good guy. I'm not trying to screw anybody. I'm a singer/songwriter first and a producer 2nd and I'm THE LAST person that is going to try to screw another artist. I know! I've been there. I had to figure it all out on my own! And the other thing, is that I LIKE to help other, younger artists figure out some of the stuff that I had to figure out on my own. I've done just that everytime I've produced for somebody else.

This artist is pretty talented and we've done a lot of pre-production; more than I've ever had the opportunity to do on any other record. We went through almost 40 songs and re-wrote and wrote additional verses and ended up with a pretty good batch of songs for this first project.

The thing is, every time I turn around, artist treats me like I'm trying to screw (him/her) over.

For Instance:

The artist wanted us to draw up a contract. This was a great idea, and one that I usually neglect. So, I scouted around, talked to a number of friends who are producers, got ideas, talked to my lawyer, found out what the artist wanted and drew up what I thought was an incredibly soft, simple, lenient contract. I wasn't trying to bind the artist to anything unreasonable. I wasn't making promises that I don't know if I can keep. I simply drew up a contract that put my needs and protection and the artist's needs and protection in black and white, so that hopefully we could both be on the same page. No good. I'm the only person the artist knows to get this kind of information, so anything the I put in the contract, no matter how soft, reasonable or lenient, that protects my interests, then it pretty much had to go. And yet, I had to add in all kinds of things for the artist, no matter how much I tried to explain that they were beyond the scope of this kind of contract. What we finally ended up with is not completely without its use to me. It's very balanced in the artist's favor, and I'm pretty ok with that, it's just that the few things that were left in my favor are really important to me.

What this artist doesn't realize is that this whole deal is overwhelmingly lopsided in his/her favor and yet I am still scrutinized as if I'm trying to stick to him/her. What this artist doesn't realize, is that all of the time we put in for pre-production and re-writing will end up being donated by me. What this artist doesn't realize is that I should be getting co-writing credit on a number of those songs that are ending up on the CD. There's no way I'm going to ask for it or even mention it because the artist would FREAK OUT! And yet, I'm not so concerned with any of that stuff if the artist would simply believe me and trust that I have his/her best interests as my primary goal. I only bring up all of these things that I've just let go trying to make that fact clear.

Obviously, I've gone to great pains to be discrete about the artist's identity. I don't know if the artist would ever happen to visit this blog.

If so, my only hope is that you'd begin to understand how much I've given to this project without any promise or hope of return. My compensation for what I have and will put into this is so negligible, it's almost funny. There are studios right in this area that my compensation wouldn't pay for 5 days of recording time, and that doesn't even include the musicians, songwriting help, arranging or production.

I know. Everybody else is thinking I'm being pretty self-righteous and whiny baby. If the deal was/is so bad, why'd I agree to it? Honestly, I like the artist and I like the music and I never thought that this far into it, I'd still be fighting for the artist's trust.

And if I am being too self-righteous and whiny baby about all this, it's my bloggy and I'll write what I want to.

Welcome to East Hall Recording

Well, it's about as official as it's going to get. Follow the link and check out the new home of the Recording Shack.

The story so far:

A couple of years ago, I started getting to know this guy, Chris. We realized quickly that along with being musicians, we share many of the same interests. (star wars, comic books, movies, X-men, music/recording gear...) I knew that he had a lot of equipment and it got to where he'd loan me gear if I needed something and we'd listen to each other's mixes of projects we were working on, etc.

About a year ago, he started working on his dream of building and running commercial recording studio on his property. As construction progressed I got more and more excited (and a little jealous) for him about how great a facility it looked like it would be. He already had tons of gear, but now he was going to actually have a studio that would easily rival most of the studios in our area.

I am still not sure why, but one day we were talking about how cool the studio was going to be and Chris just said, "You know, you should be my partner." Let me think...Ok.

And now, the studio is finally ready. We've (mostly Chris) has been working on the web-site and flyers and getting ready to let everybody know that we're here and ready for business. If you know anybody needing any recording of any kind, send them my way. We need some clients.

Check out the web-site. Let me know what you think.

TX postponed & Freaks and Geeks again

So, I had it all worked out for a sub to go to TX for me that would have done a bang up job and who owed me a lot of money, so it was all going to work out. However, when I called the peeps to see if that would be cool with them, it sounded like they were a little relieved. I'd forgotten that this was the first year they were attempting to do this, and apparently, they'd not publicized it as well as they'd hoped and there weren't going to be a whole ton of people and definately not as many as they hoped.

So, they offered to have us come for a retreat scheduled for April instead and their staff could handle the responsibilities for this weekend. So, now I just need to figure out how to pay for the transmission.

in other news...

Last night some friends came over for chili that we haven't hung out with for a long time. We were all trying to figure out whether to watch a movie or what. Well, I'd been telling them about Freaks and Geeks for some time and we'd just never gotten together for them to see F&G. Of course, it's been a couple of months since I've watched an episode (since my six feet under fascination). Long story, shot version: We all fell in love with F&G again! They ended up staying over here till nearly 2am and I think we watched about 5-6 episodes all together.

Why must TV suck so bad? And why must any show with any goodness in it be cancelled after one glorious season?

ARRRGGGHHH!

Tomorrow, Holly and I are supposed to leave for La Grange, TX where we're supposed to lead worship for a Jr. High retreat. I wasn't really excited about this, because it's a long trip. We're to be paid pretty well for what we'll actually be doing, but when you factor in the travel, it just means we'll have a little bit of money that we didn't have. Not to mention the fact that we need some money.

So, this was all well and good and then I was just driving the car we were going to take, and the transmission went out! (I'm trying to keep my mind on the good fortune that it went out today and not tomorrow on on our way to TX.) But, not only will it take at least $1000 to put in a new transmission, we'll have to take the van to La Grange which is going to increase the cost of us simply getting there and back!

I am considering attempting to hand the whole gig off to a guy that I just finished his first CD. He owes me all that he would make on the trip anyway, so I could probably come out about the same and I wouldn't have to drive there! He's already said that he'd be interested in doing this, but I can't get in touch with anybody at the camp to see if they'd go for it, plus I've having reservations about giving up the gig just because, you know, it'd be giving up a gig.

argh. I hate cars and I hate needing money.

currently reading

I finally finished Wizard & Glass which is the 4th book in Stephen King's Dark Tower series. I liked it and I'm really into this cycle of books, but I thought I was NEVER going to finish that one! And I've got 3 more to go!

I have at least 3 friends that have just recently finished the series and keep saying they want to talk about it, but I don't them to give anything away to me. So, I hope they still want to talk about it when I finally finish.

I already have the 5th book, Wolves of the Calla. But I've decided that before I jump into it, I'm going to take a break and read something else.

A friend told me about the book, Lamb, The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal. So, I went ahead and checked it out from the library, even though I was in the middle of W&G. Well, my check out time had run out, and I still hadn't finished W&G and I couldn't re-check the book because it's somebody else has put it on hold. Argh! So, I've just not taken it back to the library and I'm racking up over-due charges and fellow library patron is hating my guts.

Obviously, the book is a work of fiction. Can you imagine if the New Testament started with Matthew, Mark, Luke, John and Biff?

So far, I'm really liking it. It's funny and silly, and not meant to be devotional fiction for the faithful by any means, but so far, it seems very respectful of Jesus and who he may have been as he was growing up.

I'll keep you posted.

Have I mentioned Six Feet Under?

I know I’ve mentioned Six Feet Under more than a couple of times lately, but this is kind of a new thought.

Many of the people that I know and consider my friends would easily fit into the description of white, middle class, conservative, Christian families. I have a tremendous amount of love and respect for so many parents of these households. They have clear ideas of what they believe and what kind of life they are hoping to establish for themselves and their kids. Particularly and appropriately, they are concerned with the movies/tv shows/video games/books their kids take in, and are even very careful about the media they take in themselves.

This, in itself, seems very positive to me. I think it’s very important for parents protect the innocence of their children’s hearts and minds as long as possible. There are plenty of scary things in this world, there’s no reason for children to face them any sooner than necessary. I sometimes find myself questioning the stringency of the filter enforced by some of these parents, but that’s really not any of my business or at least a topic better suited to its own blog.

What has struck me lately is how skewed the individuals’ filter can be. TV & Movies containing themes and shots of nudity, overt sexuality, homosexuality, cursing and foul language, and sometimes even hints of fantasy like Harry Potter or anything related to Dungeons & Dragons are categorically dismissed and/or berated and condemned. At least they’re abstained from. However, near-nudity (like in fear factor), greed, self-centeredness, deception, backstabbing, scheming (like in the Apprentice and just about every other reality show), self-loathing and pre-occupation with outward beauty (as in extreme makeover or the Swan) literal violence (like in Jackass or viva la bamm) are rarely, if ever questioned.

I am very perplexed. I don’t want anybody who may read this to feel like I’m attacking their behavior. It is just so odd to me to know that a number of people I know couldn’t even get through a single episode of six feet under for moral reasons. These same individuals would probably feel that I was, at best, walking a thin-line on the edge of slippery slope for embracing a show like Six Feet Under or a movie like Magnolia or American Beauty. But, how do I deal with the fact I have a hard time dealing with shows like Fear Factor, The Apprentice, or Jackass for moral but different reasons?

shack in la la land

So, as I mentioned in a previous post, I was a little freaked out about going to this conference by myself. The main thing was that I was trying to bolster myself so as not to be afraid of life.

I now realize that I was worried about being afraid of life because I thought this particular conference was small. For some reason, I had in my mind that there would only be 500 people there tops. It turns out there were more like 3,000. In which case, nobody particularly stood out and I didn't feel the pressure to be any more outgoing or personable or impressive than I normally am anyway.

As far as my trip went: I'm really glad that I did it, and I hope to scrape together the money to pay for the plane ticket and hotel room again next year. It did what I had hoped in motivating me to get my act together and get busy writing and being the artist that I think I'm supposed to be. It also sparked some new ideas of how I should tackle the whole marketing aspect of being a performing songwriter that I hope to implement. More than anything, I'm just hoping to do all the things I'm doing, but do them much better. A few potentially key contacts were made and as to whether those contacts actually help me remains to be seen. For now, I think I just need to do whatever I have to do to make myself be more productive. ( i.e. write more....)

The only thing that I feel kind of weird about is that I didn't really do anything outside of the hotel. I know there was at least one show that I would have liked to see while I was out there, and the fact that i was so close to the beach and didn't make it makes me sad. However, I didn't transportation or extra money to provide transportation and honestly the conference had plenty going on to keep my schedule filled. Maybe next time.

Since getting home I've been enjoying:

-Watching the 3rd Season of Six Feet Under
-Trying to finish Book 4 of the Dark Tower Series
-Anticipating and buying U2's new CD last night at midnight at Hastings. They had free pizza!

In case I don't blog again for awhile, I hope that you all have a Happy and safe Thanksgiving. I pray that we would all learn to be more thankful for what we have.

U2 - and my partisanship

It may or may not be surprising to any reader that I've been very quiet on my blog about the recent election. I did vote, but the truth of the matter is that I didn't have any particularly strong feelings about who won. Honestly, I think that both candidates were basically good people who wanted the opportunity to lead the country using the best ideas they could. Obviously, not all of those ideas would be good or right, but the reality is that nobody is going to have all of the right ideas/plans all of the time. And frankly, I'm glad that I don't have to carry that kind of responsibility on my shoulders and I'm very appreciative of individuals like Bush or Kerry who were willing to do so in my place.

Some would call me stupid and/or naive to think that both candidates had (have) the desire to do the best they can for our country. That's my biggest problem. My biggest irritation of the whole ordeal was the constant demonization of the opponent. Give me a break. If one side is a bunch of pure evil/stupid/horrible abominations then it stands to reason that the opposing side is as well. In which case, we’re all screwed no matter who gets elected to what office. It’s strange to me that I feel like a flicker of optimism emanating from me seems like the smarter course of action then rampant pessimism. I think that’s about all I have to say about that.

All that said:

I just watched last Saturday’s Saturday Night Live to see U2 perform. I’m being completely honest: I cried.

I’ve been a fan of U2 since Unforgettable Fire which was BEFORE Joshua Tree and the rest of the world discovered them. There was a short time that I couldn’t get over Joshua Tree and didn’t appreciate Rattle & Hum or their first steps into re-invention/experimentation and I didn’t get into Achtung Baby! But now, I’m a complete fan of their entire catalogue. (I don’t love Boy or October as much and I still don’t love Rattle & Hum, but for the most part I love everything from War on. Achtung Baby is now one of my favorites.)

In just a couple of minutes, I’m going to Hastings to pickup my copy of their new CD at midnight. So, here’s my big political statement:

Anybody who doesn’t think U2 is the greatest rock band alive is a complete idiot!

But you can have your own opinion if you want to.

la la land

In just a couple of days, I'm going to be flying out to LA for a music/networking convention. I was planning to go with a friend who is also a musician/songwriter, but now it's looking like he can't go because of family issues.

As much as I was looking forward to experiencing this with my friend, I recognize the fact that I'll be traveling and attending by myself could mean additional opportunity for personal growth and networking.

So much of the music industry in general, and this convention specifically, focuses on networking. Who you know and can interest in whatever it is you're doing has so much to do with getting help in getting your stuff out there. If my friend went with me (and I still hope that he might get to) it would be very easy for us to interact with each other. Like anybody else, this is would be the natural, easier, mode of behavior.

If he can't go, I'll be on my own. I don't know anybody that will be there. The thing that I need to keep in mind is that I will probably not have any contact with anybody out there ever again unless I make those connections. What's there to be afraid of? I don't know them. They don't know me. Who cares what they might think? And wouldn't making some kind of impression be better than making no impression at all?

I know a couple of people in my life, who just naturally charm anybody and everybody they come in contact with. And I know that there are some times when I have had that particular spark. The problem is that when I have had it, it was accidental. I can't or don't simply turn it on like a couple of people I know. That would be helpful this weekend.

ghosts

Continueing with Six Feet Under:

Every episode begins with the Fisher's (sorry, that's the name of the funeral home, Fisher and Sons) client for that episode dies. It's not uncommen, then, for the person spread out on the embalming table to wake up and talk to one of the main characters and help them work through whatever life struggles they've got going on in that episode. I think it's an effective and interesting gimmick replacing the recorded voice-over of the the character's thoughts going through their head...

Nathanial Fisher, the father that died in a car wreck in the first episode, pops up and talks to various "live" characters on a regular basis. The last episode that Holly and I watched played out a year later in time since the Christmas dad died. Throughout the course of that episode, each member of the family conversed with the dad about the last time they saw him alive.

I know from personal experience that the dead tend to show up for a long time. This coming February mark 11 years that my own dad passed away. He just didn't wake up one Sunday morning. We're pretty sure it was a stroke.

I don't remember why, but we couldn't have the funeral until pretty late in the week like Thursday or Friday. I was in college at the time, barely married 6 months, and hadn't spent that much time in my home town for quite awhile.

Dad showed up a lot that week. There were a lot of people in and out of our house that whole week. Lots of friends and relatives stopped in and offered their love and support and expressed how much they were going to miss Dad a long with us. I remember all these people sitting around our living room and everytime I'd hear the front door start to open, the thought would flash through my mind before I could stop it: "Oh good. Dad's finally home..." Then, when the door opened, it would just be another friend/mourner to add to our number.

After the funeral, he kept showing up a lot. The strongest was a couple of weeks after Holly and I got home when we went to our first Murder Mystery Party. My dad had always loved Sherlock Holmes and used to watch all those murder shows on TV like, Murder, She Wrote, Father Dowling, Quincy Adams, etc. So, he kept tickling my ear all night long about how much he would have enjoyed this little game. Then, to top it all off, I figured out the mystery! (If you've ever been to a murder party, you know that they're usually so ludicrous and stupid that it's almost impossible to actually figure out the final story.) The whole way home, all I wanted to do was call my dad and tell him about the game and brag to him that something about watching those mystery shows on TV must have sunk into my psyche.

My dad's funeral happened just a month before my very first recording became available. He never heard any of it. I've released 5 albums of my own and have produced a number of albums for other artists. With every one, I so wish to show it off to my dad.

When he died, I had no idea what my life was going to be like, or what my career was going to be. I knew I wanted to write and sing, but I had no idea I'd actually make a bunch of records for myself and others. I had no idea I'd end up producing for other people. These are all things that I want to tell him. I want him to be proud of me. I want him to be impressed with my knowledge of computers and recording and music and songwriting.

Mostly, I'd just like to tell him about it. But the ghost that haunts me, while present, doesn't talk back like the ghosts on six feet under.

Six Feet Under

Back in January 2004, Holly and I cut off our satellite TV. When we had satellite, we didn't really know what was going on in the world of TV because we'd watch things like VH1 and Discovery and Comedy Central instead of the networks. Since we don't have those channels anymore, we have watched a lot more of the networks and have realized something: TV Sucks!!!!

This is one of those things that I don't know if a) TV has always sucked and I just didn't know it as a kid (A-team! Knight Rider! Airwolf!) or else b) it truly is more horrible than it has ever been. I suspect it might be a little bit of a) but mostly it's b). Between all the totally lame sit-coms, crappy, over dramatic and un-original reality shows and the next city to be another setting for CSI, there is not a single show that I make a point to see other than Seinfeld re-runs at 11:30pm.

The fact that TV sucks has led me to checking out a lot of DVDs and videos from the library, and when I'm not being as frugal, I've tried some TV shows out on DVD that I can rent.

A couple of months ago, I rented the first DVD of the HBO series Six Feet Under. I'd heard about it, and I knew that critics really loved it, so I thought I'd give it a shot.

It's the story of a family that own a funeral home in California. In the first episode, the father of the family dies in a car wreck on his way to pick up the older (prodigal) son from the airport. The younger, uptight, gay, (good) son fumes when the will of dear dad leaves the family business to both brothers. Prodigal son/brother decides to stay home and help run the business that he ran from earlier in life. Other characters include severely repressed mom, angsty younger sister, psycho genius girlfriend of prodigal son, and policeman love-of-good son.

All that to say, I am in love with this show. It's not for the faint of heart, mind you. Remember, it's an HBO series. Everybody in the show utilizes a colorful vocabulary with the f-bomb and all its forms being the favored adjective/adverb/verb/silence breaker. The good son's homosexuality and conflicts and struggles inherent to that lifestyle are dealt with often and frankly.

In spite of all that, I find the show profoundly provocative. The characters are so believable and the situations that arise in the funeral home are both weighty and human. Many episodes have helped me look at different life situations from very different perspectives and have stirred up memories and feelings in my own life.

Who cares? I think many people have issues with somebody spending a lot of time watching a TV show or Movies or reading lots of books and getting really into them. If you spend too much time considering these things, it can be easily seen as wasting time and being lazy. I would contend that movies, music, books, TV are the art of our culture. True; most of it is crap and is a complete waste of time. But to search out and discover the worthwhile examples of art speaking truly of the human experience seems more worthwhile than many of the things that vie for our attention.

Which is more worthwhile: Gaining some empathy for somebody completely outside my situation by experiencing a movie or "getting ahead" at work? Reading a book or watching a baseball game? Listening to music that inspires and broadens my thinking or watching the Bachelor/Boss/Model/Fear Factor reality show?