in the muck

Relationships are hard. If you have a relationship and it's easy, that means that you don't have much invested in each other. I think Holly's youth minister used to ask couples (us) when they're thinking about getting married if they've had their first big fight yet.

This is kind of a yard-stick for a relationship, don't you think? If you don't have much invested, or you just don't care that much, wouldn't a big blow-up fight just end the relationship? Why bother with it?

However, a big blow-up and working through it and maintaining relationship through it will probably end up stronger.

Holly and I aren't fighting, by the way. :)

But, at what point do you throw in the towel with a friendship? Is there a point where you realize, "You and I see life very differently. Your point of view continually frustrates me and vice-versa. We've dealt with conflict, but you're still you and I'm still me and neither of us can change who we are to make this relationship better. For that matter, our relationship isn't making either of us better people. I wish you hope, love and peace. Go with God."...?

Or does letting things get to that point mean that something or somebody has been screwing up? I have little patience for passive/aggressive behavior. I work hard to try to keep it out of my own behavior. So, when direct confrontation starts to seem useless, I can bottle with the best of'em. I'm not sure which is worse.

touring

My sister, Celia, just back from a couple of weeks of touring with her friend, Athena. (I'd link to Athena's web-site, but I don't know her last name...)

Also, just received a packet from an indie label/publicity/promotion company out of Athens, GA. It's the sort of thing that they ask you for permission and some money to put one of your songs on this complilation CD that they're going to produce and promote to radio stations, etc.

This isn't really what you'd consider a scam, but is a dubious proposition at least. The only reason I would consider doing it is if I was willing to get out and tour. This is something I've been considering a lot lately.

I've never been East, and the thing is, if you get far enough east, you don't have to drive more than an hour or two to be at a new venue. Probably the most you can expect to get paid at a club or coffee house where you've never been before would be maybe $100. Of course, if you play every night, that's $700 a week, not including tips/CD sales.

There are lots of draw-backs. Price of gas. Being gone. Being on the road. Maybe making $100/day. Praying the van doesn't break down. I'm getting old...maybe I'm too old to be considering this...

Just call me "The Computer Master"

So, last wednesday, I sent of the last of the previously mentioned medical terms. Job completed except for waiting for them to send back re-dos. mission accomplished.

With that out the way, I was ready to get focused on and finish a couple of on-going records that I've been recording in and around the money job. Not only that, but I'd be able to sit down and blog without the nagging guilt that if I have time to blog I should be working on medical terms...

First, my CD-RW drive crapped out on me. No problem, I got another CD-RW drive at Office Max probably a year ago that was free after all the rebates. I tear apart the computer and pop that in and turn the the computer back on. Nothing. zilch. nada. el zero. not even giving me any bios/boot stuff. that's bad.

I keep it together, though. I call K, the guy that built my computer about 2.5 years ago. I take it over to his house the next day, and after tinkering for awhile, (and charging me $35!) K tells me the motherboard is fried. ack!

I keep it together. I order a new motherboard. It came today.

Since K decided that he was going to be charging me for what I thought was unlimited tech support until he moved away or I move into a new computer, I decided I could do this.

With the help of my friend, Chris, overseeing and giving advice as needed, I successfully took out the old motherboard and put in the new one. That's all cool, cuz Chris was there if there was trouble. But, as soon as I put the mother board in, I brought the puter home.

Tonight, I've successfully re-formatted my system drive, installed an operating system, hooked up and got running 3 physical hard-drives and a CD-RW, and installed all my PCI cards! Yay me!

No computer's gonna slow me down...

Random Blog # 274

the fam

Last weekend, my mom and her husband, and my sister were here. We all loaded into my mom's car and drove over to Tulsa to attend one of our favorite cousin's wedding. In the process we got to spend time with the rest of our favorite cousins and their families and really had a blast.

I only have my sister, Celia, as a sibling. We really have a great relationship and love the chance to spend time together. This particular family is my mom's youngest sister's. Our cousins in that family are an oldest brother (who got married this weekend) and 2 sisters.

Celia and I had so much fun hanging with all of them because we seldom get to see any of them anymore. Not for any reason other than the fact that we are busy. There's 6 kids of these two sisters and both of the families are just awesome. We were talking that this set of cousins are kind of like our "alternate reality" siblings that we only got to spend time with on occasions. Their kids feel like "alternate reality" nieces and nephews.

It was hard to leave. It's hard to have such a short time to try to re-connect with these extended siblings. I want to know them more and their kids more. It's weird that I don't know them more, and yet when we're together we have a relationship. There's no questions about that.

Random blog #37