blogging

My problem is that whenever I start to write something, it starts getting really long and then I get tired of writing and want to quit, but then I'm frustrated with what actually made it onto the blog.

Random things that I'm going to not write very much about:

-Last night, my best friend from college called me to let me know that he's officially out of full-time ministry and that he's investigating new career paths. We talked some about how we went to Bible college with a pretty tight-knit group of 4 guys who all received degrees in music ministry. All are talented, intelligent, personable, faithful and would profoundly bless ANY church they worked for. And yet, not a single one of them is now working in full time music ministry or any other kind of ministry. My friend and I discussed the possibility that there's something horribly wrong with the whole concept of vocational ministry; particularly music ministry. We discussed the fact working in full-time music ministry caused a moral dilemma that in order to do it as required would entail living dishonestly and actually "selling out."

The interesting thing is that I know many people in full-time music ministry. They seem sincere and passionate in their vocation and ministry, but most also seem pretty shallow in the way they live their life.

From one perspective, I'm pretty proud that the 4 guys I graduated with are no longer in ministry because they're actually too honest to be able to live with the tensions that vocational music ministry requires. Ok, I've broke my rule and written too much on this.

-This morning, while driving to my sub job, I started thinking about what it would be like if my dad were alive and how he would interact with Ivy and how much I would love to see that. It's been 13 years now, and sometimes thinking about how much of my life I am unable to share with my dad hurts so much. I had to turn up the music and start thinking about something else so that the tears in my eyes wouldn't start flowing and make it hard to see.

-I feel like I'm gearing up for job hunting. In the next few months, many school districts will be getting their contracts signed for next year and will start getting ideas for where they're going to need positions. I hate it. I don't want to go out and find a job, I just want somebody to give me one. I often think that one of the reasons I didn't accomplish more as a musician was because I just can't stomach self-promotion enough. And here I am trying to sell myself as a teacher. The fact is that last summer, I suspected that I could/would be a good teacher. Now, after subbing so much since the beginning of the year, (and I truly believe and I think most teachers agree, that subbing is WAY harder than teaching) I'm convinced that I would be one of the better teachers. If somebody would just give me a freaking job...

-I'm reading the Green Mile again. I've needed something to read while I'm baby-sit...I mean subbing. I still think that Stephen King is a great novelist.

Bridge to Terabithia

On Friday, while subbing, I found the teacher's multiple copies of The Bridge to Terabithia. Since the students I subbed for had their assignment for the day, and my job was just to make sure that they did it, I was lucky enough read TBTT again.

I think I just read the the made-for-TV movie of TBTT came out in 1985. That means I would have been about 14 when I saw that on PBS with my family and consequently read the book the first time.

The trailers that I've seen for the new movie have really been bugging me simply because the book is not all about the fantastic adventures of the main characters in their imagined land of Terebithia, but about what happens to them in real life. However, from the reviews I've read of the film, it seems like I might be having a lot more problems with the marketing of the movie (and trying to sell it as some kind of Narnian adventure) than I may have if I actually see it.

I really enjoyed reading it again. Along with new movie and renewed interest in the book, I found out that the author, Katherine Patterson, is a Christian. With this new knowledge and hopefully a more mature personal faith discerning the value of this book, I was truly touched, inspired and dare I say blessed by some of the words I found. Particularly in reference to faith and its discussion in the book.

Fast forward to this evening and my reading of a review of the movie by a certain Christian online magazine. I haven't linked to the review and am not going to mention it because the whole thing is worthless drek and I don't want anybody to read it because of me. Why do other Christians provoke more profanity in my head than other people?

While this reviewer gives a relatively positiver review of the movie, can't get over the "careless at best" handling of a discussion in the movie about who's going to end up "damned to hell".

I know that when I read this book when I was young, I had much the same reservations as the reviewer. Of course, now I think that I had those reservations because I was well-versed in the ignorant pride that this teaching flows from. That seems to me one of the most evil.

Ugh. Sometimes my un-practiced writing drives me crazy because i can't seem to get out what I'm trying to say. (Languisher, will you re-teach me how to write?)

I'm trying to say all these things without giving away anything in the movie or the book. All I can say is that if anybody ever tries to say who is going to hell and who is not (other than him/herself), they are wrong. Because they truly don't know. And the utter presumption drives me crazy.

Matthew 7: 15-23 A Tree and Its Fruit

15"Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. 16By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

21"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

Two crazy things today....

First, I was driving to the library in Fayetteville. Because we just came through an Arkansas blizzard and it's still been horribly cold and they're still saying that side streets can be messy and frankly; Arkansas drivers are either idiots or maniacs when it comes to bad weather conditions, I decided to take the bypass and get off at the 6th street exit.

First, I notice lots of people on foot. Then I think, "Wow, lots of people must have been tired of being cooped up in their houses for the last few days, because this traffic is crazy!" Then it dawns on me and I have to call mr. powers to confirm my suspicion: the Hogs have a basketball game today. This would make obvious indicator #1 of how NOT a sports fan I am.

Obvious indicator #2:

After the library, I go to the cobbler to pick up a purse that Holly was having repaired only to find the cobbler is close on Sat. and Sun. So, I decide to walk across a couple of parking lots to get to the only IGA I know of in NW Ar. to see if they have the Lime tortilla chips way had for my mom's b-day weekend. (They still should not be the main chips...)

So, I'm walking across the parking lot of a Rent-a-Center and I see not 1, not 2, but 3 big screen TVs being loaded into the back of 3 different pickups. What the? Oh ya. Tomorrow's the Super Bowl.

I'm sorry. This is a subject for another blog. But, for the life of me I can't figure out why so much money and so much energy is expended on sports when arts and music programs seem to be in constant jeopardy. Is that what we want our culture to be known for? Our love of sports?

I'll probably go to the party tomorrow. But I'm being completely serious in that I don't even know who's playing. I'm sure I've heard, I just don't care enough to remember. But hopefully there will be some good nachos at the party.

something new and blue...

I'll stand by the idea that one of the best things for an independent artist to do to get their music "out there" is to get an account with CDbaby. I held off for a long time. I think just because I didn't like the name and/or logo and mostly because I figured that if I set my mind to it, I could do everything that they could do for me on my own web-site. That may still be true for the most part, the fact is that CDbaby is HUGE and has all kinds of perks and connections and at a whopping $35 to set up a new CD, it's worth it. Having Gypsy Heart selling on itunes in Austria make it worth it all by itself!

Even though I LOVE getting random emails saying "You've made a sale! Your money's on the way!" or even better: "You're getting some money from CDbaby because you've been moving some digital downloads all over the world! Here's some money!", I've been slow to set up any of my older projects on CDbaby. Mostly, because whenever I think to do it, I don't really have $35 to set it up and it would take a few months for that CD to get into the system and show up on itunes and stuff like that. I'm an instant-gratification kind of guy. But, that would sure eliminate the struggle I have with keeping that old stuff available for the few who might be interested without having to order more CDs. So, I'm trying something new.

I just found this software/service that encrypts the audio files and sets it all up so that I am now selling my own files from my very own web-site. So far, I only have Vagabond Dancing available, but I plan to get everything else posted; including the very first recording that was only available on cassette tape!

The only big problem is that I'm having a hard time figuring out how to integrate this into my web-site as it is right now. Really, it's high time that good 'ole shacknotes.com got an overhaul, but I was lucky enough to have a web-design master do it last time, and I don't want to take a step backward...

Anyway, if anybody out there wants some "back catalogue" shack stuff, please let me know how the system worked for you. I'll be getting more stuff up there soon.

bad hair cut

So, I really like the girl who cuts my hair, and I'm hoping that she doesn't read my blog because my haircut sucks!

What's even more frustrating to me is that I can't figure out why. I told her to just do what we've been doing, I just needed it shorter. Somehow that didn't work. I can't tell if the sides are too short for the top/front or if the sides are too short too high on the side of my head or what. I just can't figure it out. I really hate it if it's too short and looks like military buzz, but this doesn't really look like that because it's too random. Just not random in the cool way that I like. So, now I'm just wishing it would hurry up and grow in some more.

On the subject of hair, I feel fortunate that I'm 35 and still have mine. I often think that since I have it, I should grow it out, get some length. The problem is that my hair is VERY straight. So, if I grow it out all, it's just very flat. Plus, holly hates it long.