blogging

My problem is that whenever I start to write something, it starts getting really long and then I get tired of writing and want to quit, but then I'm frustrated with what actually made it onto the blog.

Random things that I'm going to not write very much about:

-Last night, my best friend from college called me to let me know that he's officially out of full-time ministry and that he's investigating new career paths. We talked some about how we went to Bible college with a pretty tight-knit group of 4 guys who all received degrees in music ministry. All are talented, intelligent, personable, faithful and would profoundly bless ANY church they worked for. And yet, not a single one of them is now working in full time music ministry or any other kind of ministry. My friend and I discussed the possibility that there's something horribly wrong with the whole concept of vocational ministry; particularly music ministry. We discussed the fact working in full-time music ministry caused a moral dilemma that in order to do it as required would entail living dishonestly and actually "selling out."

The interesting thing is that I know many people in full-time music ministry. They seem sincere and passionate in their vocation and ministry, but most also seem pretty shallow in the way they live their life.

From one perspective, I'm pretty proud that the 4 guys I graduated with are no longer in ministry because they're actually too honest to be able to live with the tensions that vocational music ministry requires. Ok, I've broke my rule and written too much on this.

-This morning, while driving to my sub job, I started thinking about what it would be like if my dad were alive and how he would interact with Ivy and how much I would love to see that. It's been 13 years now, and sometimes thinking about how much of my life I am unable to share with my dad hurts so much. I had to turn up the music and start thinking about something else so that the tears in my eyes wouldn't start flowing and make it hard to see.

-I feel like I'm gearing up for job hunting. In the next few months, many school districts will be getting their contracts signed for next year and will start getting ideas for where they're going to need positions. I hate it. I don't want to go out and find a job, I just want somebody to give me one. I often think that one of the reasons I didn't accomplish more as a musician was because I just can't stomach self-promotion enough. And here I am trying to sell myself as a teacher. The fact is that last summer, I suspected that I could/would be a good teacher. Now, after subbing so much since the beginning of the year, (and I truly believe and I think most teachers agree, that subbing is WAY harder than teaching) I'm convinced that I would be one of the better teachers. If somebody would just give me a freaking job...

-I'm reading the Green Mile again. I've needed something to read while I'm baby-sit...I mean subbing. I still think that Stephen King is a great novelist.