10.18.2005

swishswishswishswishswishswishswishswish.........

I don't cry much. My mom does. My wife does. Even my sister has become more and more of a crier as she gets older. I cried uncontrollably when my dad died nearly 12 years ago and it was a pretty sad state of affairs when petey died a few months ago. But, those sort of things are allowed.

When I do find myself tearing up, I fight pretty hard not to let anybody, even holly, know what's happening. We've even got into fights because she'll ask me if I'm crying and I get mad because I'm not. (but, sometimes I am...)

Sometimes, in movies, it's just uncontrollable. 90% of the time it's the actual music in the movie. This irritates me so much, because my mind knows that I'm being manipulated by another musician, but there's no stopping the emotions...

Then I heard this sound. It's just a weird little sound that's almost more mechanical than musical in its rhythm. I've never felt my brain seem so small and useless in trying to come to grips with what this little sound actually means.

This strange little sound made it difficult to keep others from noticing tears in my eyes.

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