If you're coming in the middle of this program, you'll want to click on the (8) comments at the bottom of the recent blog entry entitled Better feeling...I'm referring to what this person said a lot in my response, so you might want to keep it handy.
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Part 1
I'm not sure what this person means by the use of the word "campy" other than the fact that it is not good. Do you mean artificial? stupid? Ridiculous? Worthless? Pointless?
I wouldn't probably take too much offense to the substitution of any of those words with the exception of "artificial". Is this blog stupid/ridiculous/worthless/pointless? Maybe. I never intended it to constantly explore deep issues and I never said that it would. I think that more often, that's the kind of thing I deal with in my song-writing.
But is it artificial or superficial? The truth is that I DON'T ponder the deep mysteries of the universe all the time. If this blog only talked about those things, I think that would be artificial. And honestly, I get really annoyed at other people who try to put out the vibe that they are "really deep". In my experience, those people tend to be really interpersonally stunted and don't relate to other people very well.
I'm sorry that my blogging seems to conflict with whatever image you have of me and the "seriousness" of my music. It's true that I may deal with deeper issues and personal emotions in my songwriting that may not come out in this blog. But, taking I and my music too seriously seems like a bad thing to me, too.
Like Mr. Miagi said, "Never trust holy man who can't dance." (Karate Kid III-HORRIBLE MOVIE...great quote!)
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Part 2
"If you are writing deeply from the soul..." It took me awhile to understand this, but I'm now assuming that it's referring to my songwriting and contrasting it with "posting such negative and campy things..."
I have noticed that I have to be careful about not letting every blog I post be negative. I don't want it to be. I don't think I'm an overly negative person. I am pretty cynical and critical and am constantly shocked and appalled at the lack of critical thinking going on in the world that I live in. At the same time, I'd like to contribute thoughts and ideas that inspire people to look at life in different (and hopefully better) ways.
I'm not going to say "How dare you!", but it does seem that you don't really know me very well from this whole set of comments. There is nothing wrong with not knowing me that well, but personally, I try to limit my criticisms of others' actions to circumstances where that person actually asked for that criticism, or I knew that I had a relationship in place that might allow me that insight and that voice. And even when I felt I had license to criticize, I would still most likely try to talk privately rather than publicly.
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Part 3
I agree. There is something to be said for impartial, honest evaluation. I ask for them. That's why I send my CDs away to be reviewed and tell everybody I can when I get a review back that doesn't say that I suck. (more on this in a minute...)
I do get frustrated with church and honestly, I get sick of being surrounded by it all the time. Why do I surround myself with the very things I complain about? Because I believe in it. I believe that if church was more like what it was meant to be, this world would be a much better place. People outside of the church wouldn't have such a hard time overcoming all the baggage of "church" to realize that God might be out there and he wants to have relationship with them. The alternative to me being "inside" of church would be me being critical and complaining from the "outside" of church, which doesn't seem like it would do anybody a bit of good.
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Part 3(b)
I started a really big response to this, because the comment about "meager reviews" hit me pretty hard. First, for your information, I've never received a really BAD review. Secondly, reviews and publicity from an impartial, informed(?), honest, outside sources are unbelievably important to an independent artist like myself. Earlier, the commentator talked about how valuable impartial criticism can be. That's what reviews are.
You telling me that you know me and you think my new CD totally sucks and my web-site and my blogging is ridiculous and stupid would not have been nearly as painful to me as your minimizing the reviews/publicity that I have received from impartial sources.
You said that you (and others?) were confused and offended after listening to (I assume) my new CD and reviewing the entire web-page. I'm sorry, but I'm still not sure about what you're confused and offended by. Honestly, I'd like you to clarify a little more.
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Part 4
I think this paragraph may be answering the question of what you're confused/offended by a little bit. If I felt somebody was just being a politician, I'd be annoyed too. Honestly, that's been a struggle for me in keeping this blog. The thing is that I've got nagging suspicion that if I were more upfront about what I really thought, I think you'd be even more offended and I doubt that you'd continue with me in the conversation, which is really all I'm trying to accomplish with this blog in the first place. If you've felt like I was riding the fence on something, I probably thought that if I wrote what I really thought first, somebody out there would stop reading and not care to continue the conversation.
Maybe I have been riding the fence a little too much and holding my cards a little too close to my chest, but I've done that hoping that I wouldn't state my case so strongly that nobody would ever bother to tell me what they thought of any given subject.
Do I really think anybody would want to read this blog other than friends and family? No, not really. Why would I? But I would love it if somebody who was curious about my music would read some of my blogs and felt like they could get to know me a little better. Unfortunately, the risk of opening oneself to make friends is that inevitably, some people are not going to like what they find and won't want to be friends.
Finally, half the time, I'm not really decided on what I really think about a given situation. Staying open to differing opinions/ideas seems to me to be the best thing a true seeker can be. Again, I'm hoping for somebody to enter into the conversation with me.
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Part 5
This first sentence is most indicative of how much you don't know me very well. What "Big Break" do you think I'm waiting for? Usually, when people use that kind of language, they think that I'm wanting to "get signed" to a record label or something. Trust me when I tell you that I've not been working for that particular "Big Break" for a long time.
Sure, there are breaks that I will hope for and continue to work for, but I realized a long time ago that making this particular life work is going to take the "sweat of my own brow", some grace, and a little bit of luck. The fact is that I've made it this long and this far, which is longer and farther than a lot of people that I know who have had record deals.
The other thing is that this paragraph sounds an awful lot like: "It's ok if you want to keep doing music as a hobby, but don't you think it's about time you found a real job?" Neither of my parents, trusted mentors, nor my wife has ever said this to me and I'm sorry, but I don't really see any reason why I should pay much attention to those particular words from an anonymous blog commentator.
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Ok, that's my response. I know it's long, and it's a first draft, so I might change my mind by tomorrow. If you made it to the end, whew! You are a brave soul. If you happen to be Silently Watching, I want you to know that I've tried VERY hard to keep my ego and emotions in check when writing this response. I'm not intending to attack or defend but just to hopefully explain myself a little better.
I am still a little unclear as to your over-all point of the comments. I know that you don't like the content of my blog and you don't like the web-site. Something about the Web-site doesn't seem to jive with whoever you thought I was from the my CDs and/or songwriting that you've been exposed to. I'd really like it if you could clarify what exactly rubbed you wrong whether on the blog or the bio or whatever.
I do appreciate evaluation and I'd like to continue this conversation if you'd be willing. If that means we continue this conversation on this blog, I'm cool with that too.
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