goodbye, Mr. Miyagi

It's always strange to me when I hear about a celebrity that has passed away that I feel overly sad that they're gone. I never knew Pat Morita, I have no idea if he was a good person or a selfish jerk. But, I liked Mr. Miyagi, and I hope that Pat Morita had some of the characteristics of the character he portrayed.

There are many pithy words of wisdom that could be quoted, but the one that I've always remembered comes from the worst of the Karate Kid movies, ("The Next Karate Kid", with Hilary Swank playing the lead. Believe me when I tell you the movie sucked.)

No matter how bad the movie was, Mr. Miyagi came through with a profound little nugget that we should all ponder:

"Never trust a holy man who doesn't dance."

Amen. Rest in peace, Pat.

wal-mart

I know there are a lot of things that I should hate about wal-mart, (well on their way to being the ONLY store which would be the ultimate monopoly, putting all the mom & pop stores out of business, capitalism run amuck, yada yada), but really two things in particular come to mind that I truly despise about wal-mart.

1) This year, they got out the Christmas stuff IN AUGUST!!!! This is annoying like everything about the commercialization of Christmas is annoying, so...whatever...

2) (I really hate this one) Why oh why do I have to listen to constant, LOUD, commercials for wal-mart while I'm in the store? I'm thinkin': I'm already at Wal-mart. I'm shopping here. Do you really need to yell at me the whole time I'm here to tell me to shop here more? What I think is particularly vulgar are these little speakers hanging all the way from the ceiling, but hanging really low over the toy aisles. These little speakers are BLASTING commercials into the kids heads the whole time they're looking at the toys.

Does anybody else see how awful this is? How can this even be legal? How come nobody has thought to think it may not be moral?

Substitute 5th Grade Teacher

Ok, many have asked. Sorry that it's taken me all week.

Of course, I had trouble sleeping the night before and I ended up getting up early, getting ready, and getting to the school even before the secretary. Somebody in the office told me how to get to the room so I went on down there just to try to get my bearings.

When I got to the room, low and behold, the teacher, Mrs. D, was there making sure that all her plans were ready for me. So, she went over everything with me. She was very nice and very encouraging and really helped put me at ease.

I won't give a play by play of the day, but I'll just say it went OK. I was disappointed with the behavior of the students for the most part. They were 5th graders and just intent on trying to get away with stuff all day. For example: The first thing a student said to me all day was: "Oh yea, we have a sub today. The teacher told us that you were supposed to give us an extra recess today..." Yea, right.

So, between my lack of experience, their age, the fact that it was a beautiful friday, made it difficult to keep their attention and keep them on task.

One of the biggest frustrations was the fact that there were reading blocks and math blocks which meant that there were different groups of kids in the room. This happened after we'd only been in there for like 30 minutes. Of course getting kids' named learned in that amount of time was impossible, but after 30 minutes, I couldn't even tell which kids were "homeroom" kids and which were block kids. Between these blocks, some kids going to different "resource" work and testing, I never knew if all the kids who were supposed to be in the class were there or not.

I did manage to make one girl cry for not letting her go to the bathroom just 30 minutes after they were all supposed to have a bathroom break. Which brings up of the the two big things I learned: 1) find out the teacher's bathroom policy 2) find out what should be done with all the papers/work they work on that day. I just had them hand almost everything in.

All in all, it wasn't so bad that I'm not ready to do it again. In fact, now that I've done it once, I'm not nearly as terrified and am wanting to try it some more. However, it was not good enough that I'm rushing to go back to that or any other 5th grade classroom very soon.

Archaeologists Unveil Ancient Church Site - Yahoo! News

This seems interesting to me.

busy week

This week is just crazy. wedding on saturday, Halloween, piano moving, trying to finish keyboard parts on a record we're trying to finish at the studio, more piano moving, filling in for T-rev last night at ConC, going to the OMA's tonight to schmooze for the studio, but not before a quick voice over session right before, big piano moving day tomorrow to free up Friday so I can go substitute teach for 5th graders.

yes, you read that right. I'm nervous.

Music industry still singing the blues - Yahoo! News

Two headlines popped up on my "yahoo! news" this morning. I linked the first above.

The headline right below it?

"Ashlee [Simpson]:'I Am' No. 1" (the article is about Simpson's new CD being #1 in Billboard sales right now.)

Is it so hard to see the correlation? Nobody wants to buy the perfectly packaged crap [a la Simpson] the music industry has been feeding consumers.

This may seem backwards, I mean her CD is number 1. But, the point is that music sales are way down, and even if her sales are number 1, they're still pitifully low especially considering how much money her label put up to market her. (my guess would be $2 million or more, but that's just a guess)

This may only seem relevant to me, but you can go back to whatever you were doing, now.

something to feel good about

I've recently been spending a lot of time the web-site linked above. If you haven't checked it out yet, do so now.

This guy...he's my kind of guy.

swishswishswishswishswishswishswishswish.........

I don't cry much. My mom does. My wife does. Even my sister has become more and more of a crier as she gets older. I cried uncontrollably when my dad died nearly 12 years ago and it was a pretty sad state of affairs when petey died a few months ago. But, those sort of things are allowed.

When I do find myself tearing up, I fight pretty hard not to let anybody, even holly, know what's happening. We've even got into fights because she'll ask me if I'm crying and I get mad because I'm not. (but, sometimes I am...)

Sometimes, in movies, it's just uncontrollable. 90% of the time it's the actual music in the movie. This irritates me so much, because my mind knows that I'm being manipulated by another musician, but there's no stopping the emotions...

Then I heard this sound. It's just a weird little sound that's almost more mechanical than musical in its rhythm. I've never felt my brain seem so small and useless in trying to come to grips with what this little sound actually means.

This strange little sound made it difficult to keep others from noticing tears in my eyes.

Jeffrey Overstreet on "Serenity"

1) I watched the TV series of Firefly last week and dug it.

2) Since I dug the show, I decided I wanted to go see the movie, Serenity which is a movie kind of finishing the show that got cancelled after one season. Dug the movie too.

3)I've been spending a lot of time on Jeffrey Overstreet's web-site lately. He's a writer and a critic from Seattle who approaches movies and music and art in the way I think more people (christians) should.

In other news, I have a gig this coming Saturday. I was really hoping to work up some new material for it, but about now, I'm just hoping that I can hammer down this stupid allergy crap enough to make it through. We'll see.

Librarian Rediscovers Beethoven Score - Yahoo! News

I don't really have anything to say about this, but I think that it's cool. How cool will it be to actually hear this piece of music performed now?

reading list

I've got so many books going right now that it's getting stupid:

Searching for God Knows What - Don Miller
Through Painted Deserts - Don Miller
The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkein
In Other Words- Artists Talk about Life and Work by Anthony DeCurtis
The Message-I've had this sitting in the bathroom and been reading it while...(ahem)...my daily constitutional...

and today I just got A New Way to Be Human by Charlie Peacock from half.com in the mail.

Today, I spent most of the day riding in the truck to take a piano to Oklahoma City. Instead of making some headway on one of the books listed above, I started re-reading The Story We Find Ourselves In by Brian McLaren. I think I got about 3/4 of the way through it. (it was a long day).

NO WAY!

So, after chillin' with Joan Jett last weekend, James and I kept talking about the movie she starred in with Michael J. Fox back in the '80s called "The Light of Day". James ended up finding it at the library and so the shacks and powers got together tonight to watch it.

It's really not worth hunting down unless you're really interested, but I remembered liking it when I saw it before and it wasn't that bad.

I particularly liked this part where the band was hanging out at their old regular club and there's this cheezy techno band playing on their stage. In the dialog, the band is called "The Problems". "They used to be called The Sins, now they're just called Problems..." The band was actually a trio: two guys playing keyboards/computers and a lead singer front and center playing a synth-drum pad...AWESOME!

THE CRAZIEST thing about this is that as we're watching the credits at the end of the movie, they list all the members of all the bands in the show & TRENT REZNOR is one of the guys in Problems! If you don't know who Trent Reznor is, he's a pretty hard-core industrial artist producer who, among other things, produced Marilyn Manson and wrote the song "Hurt" that Johnny Cash redid.

If you could see this band "Problems" and knew who Trent Reznor is, you'd know why this is so outrageously crazy.

hmmm...

A friend sent this to me, and it made me stop to think:

"If you jog in a jogging suit, lounge in lounging pajamas, and smoke in a smoking jacket, WHY would anyone want to wear a windbreaker??" - unknown

C.S. Lewis

"What we want is not more little books about Christianity, but more little books by Christians on other subjects --- with their Christianity latent. You can see this most easily if you look at it the other way round. Our faith is not likely to be shaken by any book on Hinduism. But, if whenever we read an elementary book on geology, botany, politics, or astronomy, we found that its implications were Hindu, that would shake us. It is not the books written in direct defense of materialism that make the modern man a materialist; it is the materialistic assumptions in all the other books. In the same way, it is not books on Christianity that will really trouble him. But he would be troubled if, whenever he wanted a cheap popular introduction to some science, the best work on the market was always by a Christian. The first step to the reconversion of a country is books produced by Christians."

(God in the Dock, "Christian Apologetics," C. S. Lewis)

I find little nuggets like this all the time and wonder if Lewis would be nearly as popular with Christians if they had any clue about what he actually said. Lewis' words, written some 40 years ago, speak intelligently in critique of issues that many still can't get figured out today.

It seems telling that there are no voices of reason and intelligence standing out in all of the Christian publishing industry like Lewis or Chesterton did at one time. If there were somebody out there smart enough and reasonable enough to actually have something to say, he/she is constantly feeling pressure to "write more little books about Christianity", which, of course, will never make any impression on anybody outside of the Church's walls.

"A CBA (Christian Booksellers Association) survey released at the Convention shows Christian-product sales by CBA member suppliers through all distribution channels to be just under $4.2 billion for the year 2002..."

Congratulations.

immutable truth

The older I get, the less important it seems to me to hold a great number of "bedrock" beliefs. There are a number of things that I believe strongly and passionately, but I have less and less faith in my own perspective and my ability to completely understand any given topic. Consequently, I think a key to learning and growing would be staying open to possibilities that my own conclusions may need tweaked as new information presents itself.

However, this morning I realized one particular truth that I don't ever believe will be tweaked. If I ever have kids of my own, I look forward to passing this bit of wisdom on to them and hope that it will become a part of their lives as it has mine:

Picky people pick Peter Pan peanut butter. It's the peanut butter picky people pick.

Live it. Love it.

shack & the blackhearts...and joan jett

So, last Friday, I was knocking around the house a little depressed because I kept thinking: "I need to make some money this weekend. How am I going to make some money this weekend? It's already friday, I can't book a gig, I can't book somebody in the studio, and there are no piano moves needed." Then, I get a phone call.

It's this guy, Hal, whom I've met once, who has a limo service. He says that his business is crazy busy this weekend with Bikes, Blues, and BBQ in Fayetteville. They're shuttling people back and forth from Dickson street and all sorts of things. They've also got the contract for shuttling around the for big band performing at the Amp on Friday and Saturday night and they're short one driver. Would I be interested in driving a 15 passenger van down to Fort Smith to pick up Blue Oyster Cult from the airport on Saturday? He can pay me somewhere between $15-$20/hour and he can get me tickets to the shows if I want.

ummm...YES!

So, Holly and I went to see SteppenWolf & Joan Jett and the Blackhearts on Friday night! Steppenwolf were not that great, especially since they didn't have a bass player and the bass was sequenced. But Joan Jett ROCKED!

So, then in the middle of Joan's set, (actually right as she was starting "I Love Rock-n-Roll", Hal comes and finds me and says there's been some scheduling changes and asks if I can take Joan & the Blackhearts to the airport in the morning before heading to Ft. Smith to pick up Blue Oyster Cult.

ummm...YES!!

So, I needed some money and the work I found was to drive around rock stars. It could be much worse.

Your Linguistic Profile

So, I've never put anything like this on my blog, but this was kind of interesting to me. Of course, I'm not really too sure about the accuracy of these little surveys...

Your Linguistic Profile:

80% General American English

10% Upper Midwestern

5% Dixie

5% Midwestern

0% Yankee

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Foster dog...no more?

I think that I've mentioned that we've had a new border at our house, and her name is B'Elanna. She's 11 years old, at least mostly dachsund, and a sweety.

Well, her true owner is now in Europe for a year and tonight I gave B'Ellana a bath for the first time. I'm not sure if we should call her foster dog anymore or we should start calling her adopted.

Keytar Inc. Williams Keyboard Guitar

I can't wait to get one of these babies...not.

track 8

It is well-documented (by one of my songs) that I am fatter than I want to be.

In attempts to skinny down, I've actually got my mountain bike out and rode around the lake twice this week and it's only Wednesday! And I didn't really come as close to myocardial infarction as I thought. (I just like to say infarction...)

Unfortunately, I don't think I'm any skinnier or lighter yet.

this drives me nuts

I guess the local TV station have online polls all the time. Like, recently they asked if people thought the government should intervene with the high price of gasoline. Something like 600 people responded to the poll.

I saw on the news that the station had an online poll asking viewers their opinion of the Razorbacks Football team. More than 1200 people responded. The most responses they've ever had on an online poll.

I understand that I am in the minority by how little I give a rip about any sports, let alone college football. But the position and importance organized sports are given in our society grosses me out.

There...I said it. For all of my friends that are so excited that football season is upon us, please understand that I love you anyway.

cherokee proverb

don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

great b-day bonus

Well, my birthday was last Friday, but tonight I got a special bonus that I wasn't expecting and it made my evening.

My best friend and former college room-mate wrote me an ACTUAL email and let me know what is going on in his life!

(Now in all fairness, I am not that great at shooting emails out to him either. And I know that he sends me a note with some fear and trepidation, because invariably, I'm so excited to hear from him that I send him back an email that is way too long to expect anybody to read.)

AO is just a great, talented person that I'm so glad to call him my friend. We were both music majors in college and with very few exceptions had almost the same schedules the whole time we were in school. We were also in the same traveling ensembles and then we decided to be room-mates (can anybody say "recipe for disaster"?) We did have our rocky spots in college, but I think that the fact that we made it through with a friendship still intact strengthens the friendship we have now. Even though we're both kind of flaky when it comes to staying in touch.

I think about this phenomenon quite a bit (and I know I've written at least one song about it); how we must cherish our friendships while we're in the middle of them. Because people come and go, as much as I still love AO, he lives a long ways away and it's hard to keep up with each other. The important thing is to bathe the relationship with grace. So I haven't heard from you in a long time; You haven't heard from me either! Why waste precious time and energy focusing on how we're bad at correspondence when we could just pick up where we left off! That's way more fun!

That's just one of the reasons that I appreciate AO so much. We just pick up where we left off. He's got 4 kids and a great wife and I've just got a great wife. He's a successful, talented music minister at a large church in Arizona. I, among other things, move pianos. So what? I still know what he looks like in bikini underwear...that's got to be worth something, right?

Holly and I have run into old friends where, for whatever reason, they don't feel like they can do that, and it's so sad to me. Believe me when I tell you: Don't be like that. Cherish your friends, especially the ones that you only get to have contact with occasionally.

34 years old

Today. Not sure how I feel about it. But, there you go.

When will it end?

Written on a piece of paper and put in a tip jar of a fellow singer/songwriter/performer and close personal friend of mine:

"Tip: God has given you a wonderful gift. You glorify Satan. The fear nightmares and bondage you sing of can only be broken one way! Give God back His gift."

I've known the person who received this "tip" for nearly a year. I know that he has wrestled with personal demons and addictions and I know how those struggles have been illustrated in his songs and his art. He has also shared with me how he believes that God has had a hand in pulling him through some of those things and brought him to the place he is at right now.

The ignorance, arrogance and presumption inherent to the note he received is unconscionable. How could this "tip-giver" possibly think that leaving this note could/would do any good for anybody? How could they think this note could draw anybody toward Christ?

I hold deep admiration and respect with how this singer/songwriter has approached spiritual matters and faith in his life. Will he ever choose to take the name of "Christian"? I don't know; but could you really expect anybody to want to sign up for a group that perpetuates this kind of idiocy in recruitment?

Seriously, who might be serving Satan's purposes the most? An artist who is honest about the search and struggle in his life or a Christian who happens to be a jackass and/or an idiot?

Do you think this person actually left any money in the tip jar along with this note? Not bloody likely...

Sticking Up for Crossover Artists - Commentaries -

And it continues... This helped with the funk I put myself into by reading Pruitt's ignorance.

Secular, Sacred, or Both? - Commentaries - Christian Music Today

Articles like this give me hope. At the same time, the more I read articles like this where somebody else "gets it", the more disheartening it is to know how many well-intentioned people I know are so completely oblivious.

busy shack

Moved pianos 8 hours on Monday and another 8 hours on Tuesday. At Easthall, we have Wednesday through Saturday blocked out. My library book, Until I Find You by John Irving, is overdue and somebody has a hold on it and I've got about 200 pages to go. I just can't seem to find a second to get it finished.

Holly and my 12th wedding anniversary is this Sunday. She has a big weekend planned for us and I'm looking forward to getting out of here.

I'm supposed to be at the studio by 10am. Still need to shower.

How an evangelical struggles with a Nicodemus-like encounter by Rogier Bos, founding editor, Next-Wave

yes and yes. If you haven't read the article linked above, this blog won't make much sense to you.

There's something very unsettling about how difficult it was for this evangelical-reared writer (and somebody like me) to process this and come to the conclusions he came to.

So many of these ideas are so deeply ingrained in me, that no matter how much I begin to recognize and rant about the errors, the mode of behavior they dictate is exceedingly difficult to overcome. It's like some kind of "thorn in the flesh"...and I question whether this questionable information ammounts to "sin" as much or even moreso than all those things we are so capable of naming with ease.

The Choir- O How The Mighty Have Fallen

Wow. I can't stop listening to this CD. These guys have been in the Christian music biz since the early 80's. They've never been "at the top" like Amy Grant or Steven Curtis Chapman or Michael W. Smith. But, they are real and honest and creative, which is more than I can say for most of the drivel found in Christian music imho. The fact is that I haven't listened to anything out of CCM in quite some time.

(except to find new songs to use at church and the portico and the fact that Ronnie, the guy I help move pianos, always has his radio on the CCM station in the truck. This is easily my biggest complaint about the job...)

Now, (because of moving pianos), I'm getting exposed to this stuff and I honestly think it's worse than I feared. Of course, I don't have to worry about the Choir being played on there, even though they were some of the folks that started the whole thing...

Anyway, I wasn't writing this blog to bitch about CCM. I just wanted to say that the Choir are and remain all of the things that I love about music and songwriting and yet practice their art within the confines of the CCM industry. Thus proving that it can be done. Of course, it also begs the question: Why can't anybody else in CCM figure it out?

bloggedy blog

I don't know why I've been so lax with blogging lately. I feel like I've been really busy and haven't had time to do anything, but I also feel like I've not been very productive, either. Here's random updates as they come to my mind:

-A week ago yesturday Holly and I opened for Kelly Jones for a concert at her church. She is such a great person and great singer/songwriter. I'm so proud to be her friend and to have produced her first 3 CDs. Her husband, Aaron, is also a great guy. Whenever we see them, we all say that we need to hang out more, but they're busy too. She's saying that she's about ready for a new CD and assures me that I'm producing, so I'm looking forward to that.

-played at US Pizza last Wednesday on the patio. It was too freakin' hot! 3 hour gig on the patio and by the time I was done setting up the sound system I thought I was going to melt. It's amazing how much energy I CANNOT come up with to perform when I'm hot like that. I booked another gig there, but it's not till late September. Hopefully it will be cooler by then.

-last Friday, played at Teatro Scarpino's with 3 other songwriters: Effron White, Sarah Hughes, and Justin Brasher. I was pretty apprehensive about how it was going to turn out because it was $5 to get in the door and I didn't know if anybody would come out. It was AWESOME! We had a GREAT turn out and had lots of fun. Thanks to anybody who might be reading this who came out! I know that everybody involved was really pleased with the evening, so I'm sure that we'll be doing it again sometime.

-Last weekend I got a call from a music minister in KC who was getting ready to go on vacation and whoever he had scheduled as his sub fell through at the last minute. He'd asked my friend, Rustin Smith if he could sub, but Rustin couldn't get out of his sunday am responsibilities and he suggested me. James said that he'd cover for me at NS, so we left for KC Saturday night and led music at this big E. Free Church for two services. People were really friendly, we had a great band, and we sold 17 CDs! Afterwards, the minister invited Holly and I to eat at Chili's with his family and we had a fun.

-I finished the Calvin Becker trilogy while I got Holly to drive on the way to on Saturday. Again, I think they're funny and pointed in illuminating the hypocrisy and absurdity in some christians' thinking. However, I'm a little disappointed and a little disturbed that in the 2nd and the 3rd books, that none of the ridiculous antagonists (basically all of calvin's family) ever come to realization of just how evil their actions are. I don't know how to talk about this without somebody actually reading the novels, so if anybody reads them, email me, I'd like to know what you think.
-I finally got a copy of the new John Irving novel "Until I Find You" (see title link of this blog) from inter-library loan. I'm not far enough into it to really know anything, but I've read some reviews and I LOVE John Irving, so I'm excited about it. I'm also glad to have something right after finishing the calvin trilogy.
-I also got into a 4 day taste test that pays $150 walmart card that starts today! I'm thinking that I might use the $150 to buy an MP3 player, but I haven't decided yet.
-Speaking of music, I received my copy of the newest, independently released CD of the Choir called "O how the Mighty Have Fallen". I got it in the mail right before we left for KC, so I got to listen to it a couple of times on the trip. If you don't know, I've been listening to the Choir since about 8th grade. I've probably mentioned this on this blog before, but shortly after Vagabond Dancing came out, a Nashvegas guy, who at the time ran an independent music web-site and eventually became an a/r guy for word said that Vagabond reminded him of the Choir. He was referring to the music, but I didn't and still don't really agree with that. However, his remark made me start looking at the Choir again and realize that I think my lyric writing may have been influenced by this band more than anybody else. All that to say, along with U2, the Choir are way at the top of my list and this CD delivers like all the rest. Just listening through it the first couple of times, I am so thankful for this band. They inspire and encourage me with their honesty and their artistry. You need to check them out.

Whew! So, I guess I've been gigging and reading. I've been trying to write some lately and have made some very tiny breakthroughs on a couple of songs I've been working on, but sometimes that's just more frustrating. Ok, so that's the update.

trilogy

I know, it's been awhile. I don't know why, but it just seems like I haven't had a chance to breathe lately.

I mentioned Franky Schaeffer in my last blog, and in reading Sham Pearls I got curious about what Frank has been up to. By googling, I found his web-site and was pleasantly surprised to find out that he'd written two sequals to a novel that Holly and I had both read and enjoyed a number of years ago.

Portofino is about a family of missionaries to Switzerland and their yearly vacation to Portofino, Italy. The main protagonist is the youngest son, Calvin. I borrowed the book from the library back when we lived in Manhattan, and enjoyed it so much that I made Holly read it and she liked it to.

Well, when I found out there were two more books, I got on half.com and ordered the complete trilogy right away. Portofino got here first, which was good because I wanted to read it again before I dove into the others.

Wow! I enjoyed it so much the 2nd time. It's funny and touching and honest and completely engaging.

I just finished the 2nd book, Zermatt, and was a little disappointed with some repetition early on, found pure reading gold about 3/4 through and then was horribly disappointed by the ending! As elated as I was with some of the story 3/4 in, the ending really made me angry. Because of all this, I started the 3rd book right away in hopes that it would resolve the some of the things that pissed me off so badly.

Anyway, follow the link above. Great summer reading novels for you.

Brian McLaren and realizing how Franky Shaeffer has influenced my life.

I found another article about McLaren. Believe it or not, I still think he's got good things to say.

Saturday night I was so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open as I was reading Faulkner in bed. As soon as I turned out the light, I was wide awake. This happens to me sometimes when I've got something weighing on my mind. The weird thing is that the other night, I really didn't have anything tumbling around, I just couldn't fall asleep. It was so frustrating. So, I rolled around for a couple hours, and then I thought that I could go read something like C. S. Lewis (which makes my brain hurt which makes me sleepy) and I could fall asleep.

That may have worked, but when I went to get some Lewis, I picked up a book by Franky (son of Francis) Schaeffer, instead. I know that I read his previous book, Addicted to Mediocrity, for a class in college. I also remember that I liked it so much, I read Sham Pearls before Real Swine, but the could have been 10 years ago or more. Anyway, I picked up Sham Pearls and read for like 3 hours.

I so needed to read that. I hadn't realized how much Franky had influenced my personal philosophy of the relationships between art, christianity, and commerce. It was like reading my own manifesto.

At the time, Franky was a film maker trying to do good work, build up his resume and hoping for the opportunities to work on bigger and better projects. His frustrations with small-minded, ignorant christians, cherishing of small successes, and struggles to make some kind of living with his art uncannily mirrors my life.

Obviously, when I read that book 10-some years ago, I picked up lots of his philosophy. When I read the other night, I received some needed encouragement and some tools to deal.

Now, if I would have just got some sleep...

Over the Rhine trip to St. Louis

I don't know what it is, but as I get older, sleep doesn't seem to be as easy as it used to be. Last night, I was really tired, but when i went to bed, I just couldn't fall asleep. That happens once in awhile and it's incredibly frustrating.

Last friday, two of my friends, Jess and Kendra and I loaded into Kendra's cool Santa Fe and drove to St. Louis. My biggest reason for going was to get to hang out with my sister a little bit, but the whole idea for going came from Jessica wanting to go see this band, Over the Rhine. I'd heard of OTR and listened to their music a little bit, but I can't say I was a big fan. However, I thought it would be fun to go see my sister, C, and check out this group.

The show as at this REALLy cool club called the Duck Room which is in the basement of a bar/grill. We were lucky in that we got into the concert, got seats and a table and were able to eat our dinner while waiting for the show to start.

OTR were really great. They're a married couple that write together and he plays predominantly piano and she plays some acoustic. They also had a lead player, drummer, and another girl who sang some bgvs. Their music is pretty mellow, very folky and a little jazzy at times. But mostly, I'd describe it as piano-based folk.

What struck me the most and what has been itching in my brain since seeing them boils down to 2 things: 1) How did they get themselves and their charming, thoughtful, spiritual music heard by this group of people in St. Louis who obviously love it? 2)How do they get away with being so open and honest about the obvious emphasis they put on their christian faith they hold onto?

The first question has to do with marketing, luck, providence and a whole slew of things that I ponder all the time and still can't figure out, so for the time being, I'm not going to let that leak out of my brain onto this blog. However, the 2nd question could be pertinent here.

Unfortunately, their ability to be honest with their faith with their audience, of which I am sure was made up of some Christians and some not, frankly made me a little jealous. It makes me wonder how much they have had to deal with their own "SWs".

I know that nobody wants to talk about him and some who read here will be disappointed that I'm bringing him up. It's obvious from SW's own blog and the most recent comments he's left here (that I deleted as fast as I could) that he really has no care with being helpful or constructive and that trying to deal with him directly just feeds his cravings for attention and controversy. Because of this, I will try not to respond to SW's previous or future statements in hopes that the lack of attention will simply keep him away. However, SW's rants toward and about me bring into focus personal struggle for me that I still can't figure out how to resolve.

I've never been concerned with the thought that SW just doesn't like me. Believe me, I've known plenty of people who don't like me and don't like my music. That comes with the territory. I'm used to it.

But, I think at the bottom of his problems with me is the belief that as an artist, I'm just not being Christian enough for him to see any validity in what I'm trying to do with my music. More than anything, as an artist, I want to be understood, and this judgement that I sense shows SW's lack in understanding. And my dealing with him has been because I want him (and any number of others who might have the same types of questions/concerns) to understand, even if he may not agree. (I will add that in this particular medium, I don't believe that SW specifically, is capable of understanding. That's why it's not worth trying to get him to understand him while he continues to feel it necessary to maintain the charade of his anonymity.)

It is interesting that in my experiences of sharing my songs and music the most honestly and transperantly, it is usually the non-christians that have responded with most enthusiasm and support even of music expressing a belief system that that they may not share. If/when dissenting voices are heard, they have invariably come from the "christian" likes of SW. And I'm still not sure how to deal with this.

Disclaimer: Words cannot express the awareness and gratitude I feel for the support of the majority of the people that happen to read this blog. I know that you "get it" and I'm so glad you're my friends and I don't want to make light of the emotional support you've sent my way. Unfortunately, the attitudes by the likes of SW "stick in my craw" and I'm still trying to figure out how to get people like him to "get it" like you all. Thanks for putting up with my struggle.

busy producer

So, last week, I finally finished Alina Clark's CD that I started way back in September. YAY! I'm pretty proud of the production and she's been selling CDs last weekend, so everybody's pretty happy.

Sunday night, I was out at the studio till about 4am recording organ, piano, melodica, accordian, and even bgvs(on one song) on Justin Brasher's CD. He's leaving this Thursday to go to a wedding where he's already pre-sold 25 CDs, so we've got to get the master in the mail overnight to my contact to get his CDs back here. Chris is going to be up most of the night mastering and we're going to do any final tweaks tomorrow before 5:30pm. (final pickup for FEDEX at Justin's work). whew!

Oh yea, and after staying up till 4am this morning, I got up at 8:30 to go move a piano!

Now, if I could just figure out how to make all this start paying me some REAL money.

THEOOZE - Counter Consumer Culture

If you haven't yet, click the title of this blog and read the article.

I don't usually read this web-site and when I do, it usually annoys me. However, I thought this was well written and makes a good point. I've often thought about this very thing when we were doing a bunch of camps and hearing all the same things over and over being said to youth groups at church camp. In some very real ways, this has to do with why I'm glad we're not doing camps anymore.

That's about all I have to say about it right now.

I think I made a mistake...

So, I had that wisdom tooth pulled on Monday. Took it easy that day, Tuesday, things were better. Started eating more regular. Today, haven't thought about it much, hadn't taken any painkillers until later in the day when I thought about it.

Tonight, though, I might messed up. I was out at the studio working on a CD that we're about to finish and I got out my melodica (small instrument with piano keys that you blow into that sound somewhat like an accordian and a harmonica) and was working out a part. I forgot that I'm not supposed to be sucking on straws or blowing on anything. After a little while, I started not feeling so hot and I hadn't taken anything since about the middle of the day.

So let that be lesson: Don't going blowing on melodica's right after you've had a tooth pulled.

The Last Word and the Word after That

I read this new Brian McLaren book last week. It's short and easy to get through quickly. It was interesting and I learned a couple of things that I didn't know before. I borrowed it, but I plan to go over it a little more deeply when I get my own copy.

As much as I try to resist putting myself in a box or labeling myself as emergent or post-modern or even conservative or liberal or democrat or republican or anything like that, I'm pretty much a McLarenite. He makes sense to me and has given me new and much needed perspectives on faith and Christianity in numerous ways.

This book is the 3rd in a trilogy of books. If you're a believer, you should start with the first, A New Kind of Christian, and then read the rest of them. If you're curious but not necassarily buying into Christianity, you should start with the second, The Story We Find Ourselves In. If you're happy with your faith and your Christianity, you might not want to bother.

Much of what I've read by him has been huge in encouraging me to keep holding onto the idea that Christianity can be a worthwhile pursuit for one's life. I'm now reading another book a friend loaned me that I can't figure out what to make of it yet. I'll keep you posted.

commenting

I'm going to try this again. If you want to comment, use the blogger commenting (see the little pencil?) instead of the haloscan commenting (comments (#) Trackback (#)).

Thanks.

wisdom tooth

One night, a couple of months ago, I was eating shelled sunflower seeds and my lower-right wisdom tooth broke.

My wisdom teeth all came in when I was like 21 or something like that and this isn't the first one to break. I had the other one pulled while I was getting a bunch of other stuff done, and it was one of the easier issues to deal with.

So, this new broken tooth was bothering me a little and then it broke some more (I could tell because it wasn't as sharp and jaggedy as it was). Then it started to hurt and I thought I better get it taken care of.

I had it pulled this morning. My face, lips, gums are still numb/itchy. I'm not supposed to suck or spit and that's the worst because I've got all kinds of saliva a grossness in my mouth that I don't want to swallow. (I've been spitting carefully.)

When he pulled my other one, he didn't put in any stitches. This time, he did and I think he stabbed my tongue and lips with the needle a few times. That's going to be irritating.

My friend, Jess, had all of her wisdom teeth taken on Friday and I've been wondering how she's been doing.

I'm getting hungry which is also bad news...

IF YOU WANT TO COMMENT:

Never mind. I realized that Haloscan gives me a lot more control over the commenting. For obvious reasons to anybody who reads this with any regularity, it seems that control may be really important.

So, Haloscan comments it is. Continue your comments with abandon.

This is important

Here's one for you:

How many times have you sat in church and heard the preacher say that the ancient old Testament cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed by God because of their sexual immorality? How many times have you heard a preacher on the radio or on TV say something like, "If we don't stop the homosexuals and their agenda in this country and God doesn't destroy the US, God owes Sodom and Gomorrah and apology!!!"? It's obvious, right? I mean Sodom must have been the most evil because it's where we get the common term for male, homosexual intercourse, right? (hint: add a "y" at the end)

See if this blows your mind like it did mine. The prophet, Ezekial, is saying these are God's actual words:

Ezekial 16:49 " 'Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. 50 They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen. (The text is the New International Version. The emphasis is mine.)

Hmm...where does God say Sodom's sins were the "sicko pervert homosexuals"? the "fags"? the "cross-dressers"? That's odd. This passage doesn't mention ANY of those things.

Arrogant? Overfed? Unconcerned? They didn't help the poor and needy...? Whose sins do those sound like...? Here's some more to think about:


-The wealthiest 5th of the world’s people consume 86 percent of all goods and services, while the poorest 5th consume 1 percent.

-The U.S. spends 10 billion annually on foreign aid. Americans spend 33 billion annually on diet and weight loss products.

-The average church in America spends around 95% of their budget on internal administration, staff, and building expenses.

-In N.W. Arkansas, just among 4 prominent churches, over $50 million dollars will be spent to construct new church buildings. (one of these churches' pastor is so concerned about the "homosexual agenda" that he wrote a book about it in the last year...)

-If everybody in America who calls themselves Christians actually gave a tithe (10%) of their income, the American church would have $143 Billion more money every year than it does.

-U.N. estimates that $60-$70 billion would provide access to basic services like education and health care to all the poor of the earth. ($143-$60= we'd have a lot left over and we would have done something actually good in the world instead of just adding more church buildings and parking lots...)

-Hunger could be eliminated worldwide by 2015 if every American would give .14 cents a day - $51 .00 per year.

This is what church should be about. This is what Christianity should be about. Why are homophobic, hate-filled, idiot biggots being the loudest representative of what the church is "about"?

If you haven't clicked the banner at the start of this blog, you need to. It doesn't cost you anything. Sign the declaration.

(a friend compiled these statistics and I copied them. So, I don't have documentation as to the accuracy of all this, but it's coming from a trusted source. And I could get the documentation if anybody wants to get cagey.)

the missing weiner dog

I forgot about the 3rd. I have a family of friends that had two wiener dogs, but they decided they needed to find homes for them. They'd already given away their female, and were needing to find a home for their male.

Another friend recently told me that he and his fiance were thinking of getting another dog to hang out with their weiner/beagle mix. So, Sunday afternoon, I took them over to meet my other friends' weiner dog. He's a good looking dog, and i think he made a good impression, although he's got a common weiner dog problem, in that he can't keep control of his pee when he's excited. The friends with the weiner/beagle are going over sometime this week to introduce the dogs and see if they want to be family. We'll see.

Anyway, that's the story of the 3rd weiner.

101 weiner dogs

Actually, just 2. sort of 3.

This weekend we had B'Ellana (sp?), our friend, Felshy's dog that we're kind of being foster parents for. She's 11 years old, been on the farm most of her life and is very sweet and very VERY mellow. We've been enjoying having her around.

Friday, my friend, Mike, called and asked if we could keep their weiner dog, zero, over night. Zero is a 10 month old, 7 lb., long-haired, ball of raging spazz. It was pretty funny watching ritalin child Zero trying to get old maid, B'Ellana to pay attention to him.

Both good dogs; both made us a little sad that Petey's not around. He was "The Legend" after all.

In other news...

I had the opportunity to spend some time in the presence of SW this weekend! (and i don't mean "Star Wars")

I've tried and tried to get him to admit his identity to me, but, alas: he failed. Even when he knows that I know who he is, he can't work up the guts to come clean. His countenance toward me this weekend, while justified because I'd made it clear to him that I'm through with his game and wouldn't put up with it online or in person, spoke plainly in confirmation of his identity.

In some ways, I'm sad for him. Honestly, it would be difficult for me to accept him as a friend at this point. Not because of the things he's said, but because of his refusal to speak to me in person, as a friend should.

Seriously, I think it would be exceedingly difficult to build any meaningful relationships with anybody if one were prone to handling communication and relationships in this way. I hope he's able to build some nurturing, authentic relationships with somebody. He should just realize that it's probably not going to be with me.

peace to you, SW.

interesting conversations

Not long ago, I had an exceedingly interesting conversation with a long time acquaintance about being a songwriter/artist and the tension between faithfully expressing one's art while living out one's faith, while trying to balance marketing and commerce. (we'll call this artist, "V".)

Our conversation took a turn down a rabbit hole of assessing and discussing mutual concerns and critiques (and criticisms) of the protestant church of today. I found myself on the receiving end of a passionate diatribe of the dismal state of the church. Now, for the most part, I agree with V. However, I’m usually the one getting all worked up over this sort of thing and spewing all over somebody else. This time, I found myself trying to assure her that things were bad, but not hopeless. I found myself defending the pockets of promise that I’ve seen and hope for that keep me holding on to the idea of church. Weird…

I’m so critical and cynical. I hate to align myself with virtually any ideology or philosophy because I know that any ideology or philosophy will always be incomplete or in some cases, even wrong.

There is a movement in Christendom termed “Emergent”. The funny thing is that most of the major proponents of the ideas represented don’t like accepting the branding either. But, for lack of better terminology, we’ll use it.

I’ve found about 3 primary responses to all this “emergent” talk in many believers that I know:

1) The response of people a little bit older than me, or people of maybe a little bit more conventional faith than me, regard emergent talk as something they’ve already considered and dealt with and found a way to live with. It’s just “the same old thing” put into a newer language that is somehow sparking the passion and imagination of some “younger” believers.

2) Another common response repeated by some older believers, but even more often people that seem to be a few years younger than me, is a response that all this emergent stuff is just the new church fad. It’s just dressing everything up new and different and trying to make church “cool” and “relevant” to the current generation just like all the “adult contemporary” services in the ‘80s & ‘90s were trying to do.

3) The final response that I’ve actually seen much less than I expected to see is one of distrust and fear of all this emergent stuff. Some of the emergent stuff, when taken superficially flies in the face of what many (myself included) have always been taught and have always believed. In many ways and many times, some of the emergent stuff could be perceived as watering down and softening the truth of the gospel.

As I (poorly) tried to articulate these responses, they seem less different from each other, but practically the same, with just minor shifts in motivation. Mostly, all 3 seem to exhibit either some ignorance or else flippant disregard for the ideology.

The first response seems very benign. It’s not denying anything, is pretty positive, and seems to allow the emergent seeker to continue his own path without hindrance. My issue with this is that this emergent talk fires me up and stirs passion in me for things to be much much different than the way they are. If you’ve already considered all this and wrestled it to the ground, either you and I are understanding the whole thing a lot differently, or you’d be fired up and passionate about wanting things different, too. And if you did understand it the way I seem to, you would be helping me try to make it different instead of patting me on the head and saying, “That’s nice. Someday you’ll come to the place of serenity and wisdom, like me.”

The 2nd response, which I teeter on the brink, seems very critical and very cynical and not really helpful. However, I know that I don’t want or need things to just look different on the outside. The things I’ve read seem to point to a subtle, but profound shift in perspective that, when grasped, seems to protect the implementation of these ideas from just being faddish. I hold on to the belief that there must be SOMEBODY out there who thinks in similar ways that I do. And where else would I find them without realizing that there will be “posers” in the emergent movement just like anywhere else?

As I said, I’ve seen much less of the 3rd response than I expected, but I think that sometimes the first 2 responses are used to mask the fear underneath. I have one friend who, to my knowledge, has yet to read any of the books I’ve suggested, but who has sent me a number of links and articles actively renouncing the very authors I’m promoting. I don’t hold this against him, and I’ll still love him even if he never reads any of these books. In fact, the articles he’s sent me just seem to illustrate an ignorance on the part of the critics.

Ugh. Sometimes this blog shows me just how much my writing has atrophied. Good thing I’m not really interested in trying to go back to school. Or seminary.

Random updates

Whew. It's been a strange week. First, we went to KC.
-to see my mom
-to see my sister
-to see some friends
-to see/hear my sister and a friend of her's put on a house concert
More on that in a little bit...
Recording:
Still trying and getting very close to finishing a project that I've been working on for way too long. I recently found "before" recordings of the songs as the artist originally brought them to me. Comparing these rough demos to the recordings now is nothing short of mind-blowing. For that, I'm very proud of this CD and looking forward to getting it out. I hope that the artist can figure out a way to market it as it deserves. At Eathall (the previously mentioned project is the last of my "home studio" projects), we've been working on a benefit CD for the local Animal Shelter. This has kept us busy for the last few days, working on the songs/bands/artists that are recording their contribution with us. However, everybody has been very efficient in recording. That coupled with the fact that we'd agreed to reduced studio rate (it is for charity), means we're working a lot for not much money. The good news is that it's brought a lot of traffic to the studio and we hope that will help us in terms of local awareness. We'll see.
We've also been working on the debut CD of a great local singer/songwriter by the name of Justin Brasher. He's a great guy and I absolutely love his songs and his voice. I'm so glad to be working on his CD, I'll definately let you know when it's done.
Other work:
Today I spent my first morning moving pianos. I know I know it sounds like a joke, but when I hired an acquaintance to move a 5' baby grand to the studio a couple of weeks ago, I found out he would be needing some help this summer. He's a nice guy and he's got somebody helping him in the afternoons, so he just needs help in the mornings. I'm not sure how much work I can hope for, but this will help with the income a little bit.
Booking:
Ok, this has me so irritated. I've been making lots of phone calls trying to book some more local gigs. I found out that one local place has started having "acoustic nights" on a particular day of the week, so I found out who was doing the booking, and contacted him and took him a CD a couple of weeks ago. Well, it's impossible to get in touch with this guy. I've called regularly and seem to always miss him. Finally, I called last friday and caught him and asked if he'd had a chance to listen. He said yes, and that he liked it. (great!) We looked at a couple of dates on the calendar and it looked like we were both agreed that a day next week would work well for both of us. He asked me if I could give him a chance to double check with his boss and give him a call on monday to confirm. no problem. sounds great. I call back on Monday: "oh, he doesn't come in today." (grrrrr....) I call tuesday and a female answers the phone. When i ask for the booker she puts me on hold for awhile. She comes back: "He's busy and says you should stop calling. He'll call you when he gets a chance." I'm incredulous. I say, "Are you serious?" her: "Yes, he says stop calling." me: "Well, I was calling to confirm a date we'd talked about next week..." her: "Well, he says he'll call you when he gets a chance." yea. right. Thanks a ton.
I'm calling tomorrow. If he's just trying to blow me off, he's going to have to do it for real.

Star Wars-Revenge of the Sith

We went to the theatre about 10:40 last night and there were probably 200 people already standing in line to get seats. We didn't really have to wait outside that long; I think they let us into the theatre about 11pm. Holly and I were with our friend James and Melissa and we got pretty good seats together off to one side. All I know is that I had been getting more and more excited all day, and by the time we were sitting in our seats, I felt pretty giddy on the inside.

What can I say? Star Wars connects me to my childhood like nothing else in my life. Was it perfect? Of course not. Was the dialogue any better? not really. In fact, some of the love story/romantic dialogue was probably the worst yet. But, Holy Shnikies! I LOVED IT!

George Lucas is often villified for everything from crappy dialogue to poor editing. It's not like I'm a student of movie making and know exactly what he's talking about when he says these movies are made in the style of the old saturday afternoon serials. But, I think I can understand it a little bit. And for me, he's come up with a great story. Not just this movie, but the whole Star Wars universe. It's a great, legendary story which is lacking in so many movies that have come out as of late.

Thanks, George. May the Force be with you.

two books and a movie

So, last week I was at the library and found the brand new installment of Orson Scott Card's Ender Saga called Shadow of the Giant.

Now, I don't care who you are or if you are a SciFi fan or not, Card's novel, Enders Game, is simply fantastic. I know plenty of people who won't read it simply because it's scifi, in fact, if I hadn't been told that it was good and I'd just seen the cover, I would never have picked it up. I'm telling you, it's incredible. Now, there are 3 sequals to Enders Game, that are not nearly as great. However, Card published another book called, Ender's Shadow, which is set in the same time and place as Enders game, but focusing on a different character. As much as it sounds like he was just trying to make a big hit with the same formula, it's pretty great, too. Unfortunately, its (now 3) sequals don't really stand up either. However, I decided to give the newest one, Shadow of the Giant, a chance and I keep picking it back up so far.

Today, I was at the library returning some DVDs that Holly had checked out and ran across a special table of biographies that they'd set up. On a whim, I checked the computer to see if they had the brand new book that's all interview of Bono. I couldn't believe it, but the computer said they had it and that it was even checked in.

So, I looked and looked. Then I got a helpful library person to help me look and look. She was able to tell me that the book was brand new, had just been processed as of about 30 minutes earlier and that I would be the first to check it out. Unfortunately, nobody could find it. So, when it turns up, I have it on hold.

I'm also hoping to get my hands on Brian McLaren's new book, The Last Word and the Word after That, in the not too distant future.

Of course, reading is kind of secondary to the fact that I'll be watching Revenge of the Sith for the first time in roughly 50 hours...have I mentioned that I already have my ticket?

summer reading...?

Since I was a little kid, when I sense summer coming, I start getting excited about my summer reading list. I know, most kids get excited about being out of school, swimming, and lots of goofing off. I did that too, but it may be the fact that I'm the offspring of two teachers, one even being the school librarian, that influenced this particular summer planning.

Unfortunately, I've been without a novel for way too long right now. I don't even have a single book, let alone a summer list. I've checked a number of things out from the library, and end up just taking them back. A friend just returned my copy of Orson Scott Card's, Enders Game, and I actually re-read it. (I also highly advise reading it-great book!)

So, what's everybody reading these days? Any suggestions on what I should check out? I'm specifically looking for some novels of any sort (as long as it's good) to check out.

shack show as a single

Hey, thanks to everybody who came out to the shack show tonight despite the fact that Holly left me...for the weekend. We'll all continue working under the assumption that she's coming back to me at the end of the weekend.

Seriously, I had a lot of fun tonight. Thank you all for coming and hanging out with me. Thanks also to Travis for coming and sitting in on djembe. Did anybody else notice how Mr. Powers was on fire tonight? scorching!

I don't expect anybody to really notice this or even understand it, but I've been feeling like I've had a breakthrough with my voice in the last couple months. Now, 10 years since I graduated from college and took all those voice lessons to get that music degree, a couple of things that I worked at so hard back then suddenly seem to be connecting. It's weird and I doubt that anybody can actually hear it, it's more just the way it feels to me when I sing. One of my voice professors always told me that the male voice doesn't fully mature until between the age of 30-35 and i never believed her. I don't know if that's what's making this stuff work better, but it could be. I just think that I can sing a lot longer without feeling as tired and without worrying that I'm hurting myself.

I know that probably nobody has any interest in this (other than my old voice professors), but it's interesting and kind of exciting to me.

bright eyes?

Ok. I don't get it. I saw Bright Eyes last night on Jay Leno. I hate the kid's voice and his songs have virtually no melody to speak of in my opinion. Why in the world is this kid from Omaha playing solo on Leno and opening for Bruce Springsteen?

Maybe I have an idea what's going on. The song he "sang" was called When the President talks to God. It was so "controversial" and "edgy" it actually dared to criticize and ridicule the President AND God all at the same time! (gasp!) It even had a naughty word that they had to bleep out!!!!

It was so edgy that he actually had people cheering for him throughout the performance.

You've heard the question: If a tree falls in the forest with nobody around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Here's another: If you play your edgy/controversial/unmelodic/important song for a bunch of people who think the same way you do, is it still edgy/controversial? Is it a song? Is it important?

Apology for SW

If anybody from the free weekly/NAMAs happen to visit this blog, please accept my apologies for your getting dragged into the middle of an idiot's personal vendetta with me. If I have some overly-zealous fans, I hope that their zeal didn’t throw off the count too much and I assure you that I did not encourage such behavior. However, I’m very thankful for them as they tend to balance the struggle to deal with and accept the tiresome scheming and whining of my singular “anti-fan”, who cowardly (and puzzlingly) refers to himself as “Silently Watching”. We just can’t get him to shut up.

I’m thankful for the award and I’m thankful to my fans and friends for getting out and voting for me. I realize that with the NAMAs it truly is more of an honor just to be nominated (I have no idea how that happens) and that the award itself is just for fun.

As per my recent blog that I wasn't going to let SW piss everybody off anymore, I've decided to delete his most recent comments. However, let it be known that SW just continues to give us proof of what a petty little ass he truly is. If you're reading some of the recent comments and they don't make sense, it's because they were response to SW. Next time folks, ignore him and let me know and I’ll get it off of there as soon as I can.

Thanks, ya'll! :)

"and the 2005 NAMA award for Best Singer/Songwriter - Male category goes to...

SHACK! a.k.a. Derek Shacklett...."

whew! So, it's official. I've got a plaque and everything! Big thank yous to all who got online and voted for me. obviously I wouldn't have my cool plaque if it weren't for you. I realize it's pretty silly, but it helps with the publicity efforts. If I could, I'd give each and every one of your own little plaques that say "Northwest Arkansas Best Fans/Friends"!

Who knows, maybe I'll start booking some more gigs! I mean who wouldn't want to book or come out to see Northwest Arkansas's best singer/songwriter?

Thanks For Nothing

So, this weekend has been kind of interesting. On Friday night, I played a short solo set to open for Thanks For Nothing at a place called Bourbon Boys. On Saturday morning, I played keyboard on a couple of songs with Thanks for Nothing at Springfest in Fayetteville. And finally, tonight I played a short solo set to open & played keyboard on a couple of songs for the band at Ryleighs.

The cool part is that the guys have set everything up (including the keyboard) and put my songs early in the set so that I can take off pretty early. The Bourbon Boys gig was pretty much a bust, the Springfest gig was kind of weird, but the Rylieghs gig was pretty fun. There was a good, responsive crowd and I felt like they even paid attention when I was opening. All of that, and I'm home and getting ready for bed by 11:30.

Anyway, I think I may have written about these guys on my blog before, but I thought I'd mention them again. We're producing their first CD out at the new studio (easthall.com) and I recorded a couple of songs for them last year. They've got some talent and they're pretty fun. They just make me feel old. (two of them are 19 and the other is 20...)

If you get a chance check them out. I'll let you know when their new CD is done. It's pretty straight ahead pop/rock, but they've got a pretty good batch of songs. And of course, I think the recording is sounding pretty great.

the green

Everybody wants it. Everybody needs some of it. Nobody ever has enough. Nobody likes to talk about it.

It's frustrating when you try hard to be content and to live simply and inexpensively and there's still not enough of it.

Times were tight and look to be getting tighter for everybody.

It's frustrating when everything else in life seems like it's doing well: personally, socially, emotionally, spiritually, productively, professionally....but professionally doesn't necessarily indicate financially. There, unfortunately, is the rub. And I hate it.

thanks & update

I just wanted to say thank you to everybody for posting your thoughts on Petey. We've truly loved reading your memories and stories of Petey and have felt much comfort from your sharing of our sorrow.

It's been a little bit strange the last week, because Holly had told some friends to call us if they ever needed somebody to watch their weiner-dog, Taylor. We all thought it would be great to get Taylor together with Petey sometime, but of course, we missed out on that.

So, we've had Taylor since last wednesday and he went home last night. Of course, he won't ever be Petey, but having the little guy around took the edge off the ache and made the house feel a little less lonely. (It was also weird to get used to a dog that you didn't have to worry about him throwing up, and you didn't have to yell at him to stop licking all the time...)

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for all your kind words and wonderful stories. Please don't let this post stop you from writing more if you have them. We'd love to hear them if you think of any.

a Eulogy of sorts

(click on petey)

Back in the spring of 1995, Holly and I were attending the senior’s banquet for my college. It’s not a big school and there were few enough graduates that at one point, a microphone was passed around to all the graduating seniors to announce their plans after graduation. Different people proudly shared about their new positions or internships, wedding plans and or impending birth announcements. When the microphone got to me, I mentioned that I’d be working while Holly finished her degree and excitedly declared that we were going to be getting a dog. We’d just moved into a different apartment with such atrocious carpet, we were able to negotiate the allowance of a small pet.

A day or two later, one of our professors, approached Holly and asked if we’d found our new pet yet. When she informed him that we planned to visit the local animal shelter and hadn’t got around to it yet, Dr. Isom suggested that we might consider adopting their six month old dachshund named Patches.

Apparently, Patches displayed an inordinate need for attention which caused a lot of problems for the Isom family. Their son, Kevin, who was only like 3 or 4 at the time, would get upset when Patches would grab his toys and takeoff running. Mrs. Isom would try to catch Patches and simply couldn’t (it’s surprising how quickly those short little legs maneuver…) So, when Dr. Isom would finally get home and eventually Patches would let himself be caught, he’d roll over on his back and pee to show his submission to Dr. Isom. This was proving even more of a problem because the Isom’s had just moved into a new home with all cream colored carpeting….

Dr. Isom suggested that we take Patches home for a night and see how we got along and Holly agreed that would be a great idea.

When Patches came over, I think we all knew within about 10 minutes that he was home to stay.

The first thing to deal with would be that name. Small brown patches of fur around his mouth and on his toes highlighted his dark black short-haired coat. I can only assume this observation led to Kevin’s naming the puppy Patches. Holly had heard somewhere that if you want to change a dog’s name, you should try to at least to maintain the same first consonant. We brainstormed for just a little while, and I don’t remember who first said, “Petey,” but the name stuck immediately. The Shacklett family grew from 2 to 3.

We quickly realized that Petey’s behavioral issues stemmed from that fact that he needed to give and receive lots of attention. As a young married couple, we had lots of love and affection to give.

That first year, although the apartment was really crappy, we had a little yard, and it was located just a block away from the city park. We loved putting Petey on his leash and taking him to the various arts festivals that were held in the park all the time. Numerous people would fawn over him and comment on what a friendly, good looking dog he was. We enrolled Petey in obedience school and we so proud to find that (by our own observation,) that he was easily the smartest, best behaved, most amazing, and obviously most good looking dog in his class.

We were always a family. It wasn’t like he was Holly’s dog or my dog. He never showed in inclination that he favored one of us over the other. He snuggled with both of us and played with both of us. He loved getting to ride in the car and endured long road trips to and from gig weekends better than I do.

Of course, there were things we wished were different about him. Obsessive licking, severe separation anxiety, IBS and the puking....

What I want to remember and never forget is how much joy Petey brought to our family. One time, shortly after Petey came to live with us, a friend of Holly’s said, “Derek seems so much happier now. I guess he really needed a dog…”

Petey was the best at just being there. If either of us were ever sick, he decided that it was his job to sit and cuddle and try to just offer his support. If I was ever grumpy or depressed about whatever, Petey was always glad to see me and ready and willing to love me unconditionally.

Last Thursday, I dropped Petey off at the vet to get his teeth cleaned as we headed out of town. That afternoon the vet called and said that complications with his IBS had caused some major problems when he was coming out of the anesthesia. The vet said it was really bad and that they were watching him and doing all they could do, but that he didn’t know if Petey would make it. About 6pm that evening, the vet called again and said that Petey was gone.

It is amazing at how much of a presence is missing in our house from a 12 lb. wiener dog. Every time the doorbell rings, Petey’s not freaking out at the door. Every time I leave the house, I catch myself thinking I need to let Petey out. Every time I’m out of the house I catch myself thinking that I need to get home to let him out. We’re both still prone to crying fits, and the house just feels so empty.

It’s so hard to understand and describe the relationship that develops between humans and dogs. I can’t describe how much I loved that little dog in spite of how much he was able to frustrate me at the same time.

In the story of the Velveteen Rabbit, a stuffed rabbit became real because he was so loved by a little boy. Conventional thought is that animals are not like humans and that their spirits are not eternal as many believe humans’ to be. It would be nice to think that a Petey could be so loved that we’d be with him again someday. And of course, he’d be perfect and wouldn’t puke or lick anymore.

We love you, Petey. We miss you terribly.

If you knew Petey, feel free to add memories of his antics or particular characteristics.

SW's last (as in final) comment

SW,

I and many other visitors to this blog have tried again and again to tell you that your comments have are ineffective at the least. We all know that you think that you're brave and honest and asking that "hard questions" that, in your mind, nobody else has the guts to ask.
We all know that in your mind, your comments on this blog are somehow noble whether people want to hear them or not.

Your comments have yet to enlighten anybody. The only response I've sensed from anybody reading this blog, including myself, is annoyance and frustration with your presence. Repeatedly, you display your ignorance, judgmental spirit and cowardice.

I'm tired of subjecting my readers and true friends to your dreck. (dreck, in this setting meaning BS...in case you didn't understand.)

From here on, if you comment, I will not be responding on this blog. If it annoys me or anybody else, I will remove it at my first opportunity. I don't fear you or your questions and I've left your final ridiculous comments for all to read as proof.

I'm not 100% certain as to your identity. If you truly were a friend of mine, you'd know that I would welcome honest discussion on any and all of the topics that you've raised. I'd like you to understand me and I'd like to understand you. Maybe we wouldn't end up agreeing, but I have a number of close friends that I disagree with.

Regardless, it is obvious that you will not ever come to any understanding about me and I will not understand you any more by continueing conversation on this blog. You are free to email me if you like, but it would be better if you called me, like a real friend would.

VOTE FOR SHACK-- or "as your heart leads..."

First to SW: Thanks for posting all of your criticism while you knew that I'd be gone for the weekend and wouldn't even get to read your wisdom for a few days. (see TX-try again)

Secondly, I was trying to wait to let everybody know until they have the voting online enabled.

Thirdly, what the hell do you think this whole NAMA thing is for? It's for all the artists/bands to try to motivate their fans to visit the web-site and vote. Plain and simple. In that respect, is it just kind of a stupid popularity contest? Yes, it sort of is. Does that mean that I shouldn't try to motivate my fans AND FRIENDS to simply go to a web-page and vote for me since I got nominated? How big of an idiot are you to even suggest that I shouldn't try to do just that? Do you think Grammy nominees' record companies don't campaign for the award? Do you think that Acadamy Award nominees' companies don't campaign for that award? Your naivete and/or utter ignorance shows itself to be truly staggering.

I could spend a lot of time trying to explain to you that being a musician, playing gigs and trying to sell CDs comes down to one simple thing: self-promotion. It's something that I've always been uneasy with, but have learned to accept. However, I'm not going to try to explain it to you. I don't think you'd ever grasp the concept or implications anyway.

If you don't want to vote for me: DON'T!!! If you think my music is so horrible, STOP LISTENING TO IT! If you find this blog so cheesy and insincere, STOP READING IT!!!

Friends and/or fans: Sorry you've been caught in the middle of this. If you enjoy my music, if you'd like to help an independent singer/songwriter out, if you have nothing else to do and no strong feelings concerning any of the other candidates, I would gladly accept your vote if you'd surf on over to www.freeweekly.com. You need to provide a valid email address, so don't be tempted to stuff ballots. I'll campaign, but I don't want to cheat. Thanks.

Personally, I plan to vote for Emily Kaitz and Trout Fishing in America as well. (yes, sw: I plan to vote for MYSELF! [GASP!] how creepy...)

SW, it is now becoming clear that you're pissing off a lot more people than just me. I suggest you figure out a way to be constructive or just live up to your alias as Steve suggested: watch silently...

Fayetteville Free Weekly - "It's just nice to be nominated..."

So, I've been nominated for "Best singer/songwriter-Male" in the NAMA awards. (Northwest Arkansas Music Awards). I've been waiting to tell everybody to go vote for me online, but it doesn't seem like they've got it set up to vote yet. argh!

The deadline for voting is supposed to be the 13th, so keep checking back and VOTE FOR SHACK!!! You'll see an email from me (if you're on the email list, if not go to www.shacknotes.com and make sure...) when I get it all figured out.

TX-try again

If you search through this blog back a couple of months, you'll find a story of the shack fam getting ready to leave to go to La Grange, TX (ZZ top?) and the day before we left, the transmission went out on the car we had planned to take. Long story short, it turns out the people we were to go play for realized that it wasn't as great a time for them either, so now we're leaving tomorrow to make up for that gig.

We're taking a friend and spending the night with another friend in Austin on the way down and leaving the friend we're taking there. Then, on the way back we'll spend the night in Austin again and pick up the first friend and come back to Arkansas.

For those of you who don't know, Holly and I used to do this sort of extended weekend/gig/trips all the time. I mean ALL THE TIME, like every weekend. It was a good living. We met lots of great people and felt to be of some use. It's harder now.

I'm older...Road weary...maybe a little jaded... (a little?!?) For all of the great things that life held, there were an awful lot of hoops to jump and an awful lot of crap to wade through.

I often struggle with the fact that I made the best living I've ever made when I was in the thick of all of that. Not only that, but I received loads of affirmation and encouragement from people who, for some reason, thought that was worthy of their financial/emotional/spiritual support. I just figure that money and accolades are never the best reasons to pursue something.

I think this weekend will be good. We're leading music for 3rd-8th graders. Kids are cool. If you stand in front of them with a guitar, they figure you must be a rock star. :)

Colonial House concluded

Holly and I finished the DVD last night. At the end, they highlighted a few of the people/families in their 21st Century life and got their reflections on how their time living in 1628 had affected their lives afterward.

Their education of "community" proved striking. My least favorite person of the whole project made a telling observation about the difference between 21st Century life. To paraphrase, if you have an idealogical problem or disagreement with somebody in the 21st Century, it's so easy to to just stop having any relationship with that person. In 1628, when building a colony, community is paramount to actual survival.

Something about this fact seems frighteningly profound.

This June, Holly and I will have lived in our house for 3 years. We live on a relatively quiet, nice little street. People are pretty friendly and we wave to a number of people regularly. But I think I only know about 3-4 names. We've made a couple feeble attempts to introduce ourselves to new people as they've moved into the neighborhood, but I think we've only actually been in one other house on the street. All this, and we're the only people who've made any attempt.

How can this be changed? Can it?

As I sit and try to distill all the endless ramifications of this concept, all of these clues pop up: red state/blue states, liberal/conservative, traditional/contemporary/emergent...

The ebbing felt-need for community necessitates churches, bars and AA meetings. But how many of your actual neighbors do you spend time with in those communities?

This is just one of the things that really bothers me and I get overwhelmed trying to figure out something that can be done.

food for thought

If at first you don't succeed, maybe skydiving isn't for you.

Colonial House . some observations

I brought home this DVD from the library that contained the complete season of this PBS production. (I expected Holly to ask what in the world I was doing bringing this home, but she got pretty interested relatively quickly.) To read about what the show is all about, click this link. But basically, it's kind of an educational "Real World" where the participants live like thier building a settlement in New England in 1628.

Obviously, this proves difficult for all kinds of reasons. It's cold, it's hard work, but the most interesting thing, is that all of the people are given specific "roles" in the comunity. Some find out they're to be indentured servants, while others are freemen and even offices like the Governor of the settlement and assistant Governor. Adjusting to the social position of one's "character" to acurately live within the strict hierarchy of that society appears to be the biggest struggle for nearly everybody.

The 21st Century folk chosen to participate in the show come from diverse backgrounds. The Governor (G from here on) is a conservative Baptist minister from TX that has his whole family with him. The assistant Governor/Lay Minister (AG) of the group is actually a religious professor and ordained Lutheren Minister from California. In the first episode, this guy makes note of the fact that it would be difficult to imagine two "Christian" families with more wildly different belief systems.

This is the point that I'm trying to write about but am having the most difficult time trying to explain and describe.

It is so obvious by plenty of comments, that many in the group regard G and his conservative family with suspician and criticism to their assumed "lack of tolerance" and closed-mindedness. What strikes me the most, is how backwards this sentiment seems to be.

G and his family, although I don't really appreciate everything they say and do, look to be a strong Christian family. They exhibit genuine care and love for each other and everybody else on the project. G takes his given role as Governor very seriously and struggles with the responsibility of his leadership. Even when various self-proclaimed "liberal" people defiantly challenge and take issue with G's rules (which are actually the show's rules which are trying to acurately portray the social/political/religious climate of 1628) G deals with them mercifully, to the point that it seems like he feels guilty for violating the spirit of the show.

On the other hand, a few of the other "liberal" people are the most arrogant, defiant, critical slaves to their own 21st century ideals which simply would not fit in 1628. Needless to say it's irritating to watch.

I feel like I've done a poor job at describing this situation, but seriously: Who sounds the most closed-minded?

This strikes me as exceedingly interesting and sad and encouraging all at the same time.

quote

No sense being pessimistic, it wouldn't work anyway.

to blog or not to blog...that is the question....

boy, i suck. Why did I decide to do this blog thing anyway?

I've realized that some of the problem stems from the fact that many of the things that consume my thoughts are things that I'm not sure I want everybody reading. There is the rub. Unfortunately, even though I feel like I could talk about somethings without naming names, to many people who may read this, the subject would be obvious. Not to mention the subject could end up reading this him/herself. I've thought about starting another blog without telling anybody I know about it, but then what would be the point of trying to keep this blog going?

I've never been much of a journaler. Or diarist. Are those even words or did I just make them both up? Maybe I just spelled them wrong, but I'm feeling too lazy to cut and paste in word to spell check.

I've still not even finished Tortilla Flat. It seems like I'm really busy, and whenever I've free time to read or whatever, I've been watching the sopranos. I like it a lot.

ok. At least I've blogged something. I'll try to say something else soon.

holy smoke

I have been a horrible blogger as of late. At the same time, I don't figure anybody's been waiting with baited breath to read my next blogged shenanigans.

I've been thinking about setting up my blog on myspace.com. It seems a little weird to me, but I can't decide.

Currently reading Tortilla Flat by Steinbeck and watching the Sopranos almost every chance I get. Studio work seems to be ramping up.

Thanks for checking in.

a little truth

"There is more to life than increasing its speed."
-Gandhi

Haven't felt like I've had a lot to say lately. And now I'm going to have a busy weekend. Will attempt to post cool quotes when I find them.

Check back someday.

non-blog

Sorry I've not been posting lately. For some reason, I seem to have a lot on my plate at the moment. Of course, for most people that would mean they must be working really hard and making lots of money. I'm still trying to figure out the money part.

More later.

good one

"Do not pay too much attention to fame, power, or money. Someday you will meet a person who cares for none of these and then you will know how poor you are."

-Rudyard Kipling

great gig

It's always so weird to me. Last night, I was all but praying the rain/snow/sleet would just start hammering down which would mean everybody would just stay home, which would me there really wouldn't be any reason for me to pack up the sound system and go play my Arsaga's gig. Mostly this feeling is brought on by the frustration that I don't have any new songs to play. (that is a story for another blog...)

However, the evil weather did not fall upon us, and I went to the gig. When we got there, the place was full of what looked like young (loud) high schoolers. Of course, it's a toss up as to whether this situation is preferrable to showing up and nobody being there. But this has happened before, and I didn't worry too much about it, because (with my sound system) I can be way louder than the kids and when I start playing. They usually start getting tired of trying to flirt, freak out, be weird over the noise that I'm making and usually clear out pretty quickly. Not last night.

They hung around quite awhile and just talked (yelled) louder. It was pretty annoying, especially for the people sitting anywhere near the kids that might have actually been trying to hear me. More than anything it made me wonder how/when/where I picked up the particular notion, that if you are anyplace where somebody is performing, it is only right to be respectful. That doesn't mean that you can't visit with your friends, drink your coffee, read your paper...it's not a lecture class. But AT LEAST, don't try to talk louder than the performer. That wondering led to my wondering how/where/when/why these kids missed picking up that particular bit of courtesy.

Finally, before I got too mad and said things I shouldn't into the microphone, I tried to good-naturedly asked if they could just not yell/screa during the songs. I told them they could be as nutty and loud as they wanted to in between songs if they could just chill during. This helped. In fact, then they started contributing to the tip jar and a couple even bought CDs! Weird... (Could it be an indication that we humans actually want boundaries? hmmm....)

Anyway, in addition to the kids, there were a number of other people who seemed to actually be there to hear the gig. We sold a fair # of CDs for a coffee house gig, and it's always nice to see pockets of people (including another group of older high schoolers) who were really digging the show. All in all, it was a really fun night. If you were there, thanks for coming! Next gig is Feb. 19th, be sure to bring your friends!

The Phantom of the Opera

On monday afternoon, Holly and I went to a matinee. We try to do this as much as we can because Monday is Holly's day off and we like seeing movies for cheap. We've not been able to do it for awhile because I've had a standing recording session on monday afternoons for awhile, but my client was out of town this monday.

We'd heard that Phantom of the Opera was good, so we went.

First a little history of me and the Phantom of the Opera: When I was in high school in the middle of wheat fields in Kansas, I was a huge fan. I had a two-tape (we had those back then, if you don't know what tapes are, ask your parents...) set of the complete soundtrack of the original london production with Michael Crawford as the Phantom and Sarah Brightman as Christine. I had the sheet music. I knew all the songs and sort of knew the story. (It's harder to really get the story of a stage play when you're only hearing it...) and this was one of the reasons I hated that I lived NW Kansas and thought I would NEVER get to actually see the Phantom of the Opera.

Finally, when I was 23 or 24 and married to Holly, a stage production of the Phantom was coming to Kansas City when we lived in Manhattan. I don't remember how much it cost, but I know that it was pretty significant for our newlywed budget. We were both really excited to see it.

It was horrible. It was a huge disappointment. To be honest, I don't even remember if the performances we good or bad. It was just a smaller production and the special effects were ridiculously cheesy and the volume was so quiet that it ruined that it ruined the whole thing for me. (When the phantom's theme comes on, "Duhhhhhhh....du-du-du-du-duh....." it NEEDS to be shaking the rafters. In this production, we really had to strain to hear it at all.) All that to say, I was so dissappointed that since seeing that production, I decided that I really didn't even like musicals at all.

So, what how could I expect to respond to a movie directed by the guy who made the most awful Batman movie? (Batman & Robin)? Well, it made me like the musical again. It was an enjoyable movie and it reallly is a great musical. They did a great job with the movie. However...

The Phantom sucked rocks! I don't know who this guy is or how he got this role, but he very nearly ruined the movie for me. A major point of the story is that the phantom is supposed to be this musical, mechanical, psychological genius. But mostly musical!! He's been training Christine in secret and is supposed to be the BEST voice tutor ever. When he starts singing, he's supposed to have the purest, most enchanting, beautiful singing voice that anyone in the opera house has ever heard! The guy in the movie sounded un-trained, un-controlled and just horrible. I like great rock voice (bono) as much or more than the next guy, but I don't think that's what this role called for nor do I think this guy had even that. I cannot imagine how in the world he got this role.

ok. rant over.

Thanks For Nothin' in the studio

So, I've been slow on bloggin lately. I'm really not good at multi-tasking. Last week, Chris and I spent a day visiting almost all the music stores in NW Arkansas and putting up posters and handing out cards to get the word out about East Hall Recording (www.easthall.com)

This is kind of weird for me in that it's the closest thing to an actual "business venture" I've ever had a part in. Obviously, since it's been so long since I've had what anybody would call a job, I've kind of accidently found myself being my own boss and "running a business" whether it was booking gigs and selling CDs or producing records for other artists out of my home studio.

This is different in that there's more riding on this than keeping me and Holly afloat. I have a partner, and the facility has overhead. scary...

Anyway, the "promotional day tour" went really well. We talked to a lot of people and happened onto a number of people who mentioned they were needing to get their respective band into the studio (and have we got a studio for you....)

Saturday, we had our first "official" recording session with a great local band called Thanks for Nothin'. They're a great bunch of guys that are writing really good songs and the lead singer is incredible. We're wrapping up some overdubs on Saturday and then Chris and I will mix the 5 songs that we've done.

So, that's what I've been up to.

Other than that, I finished Song of Susannah last night and am starting The Dark Tower, the final book in the series, tonight.

cruise over

7 days of balmy tropical sun. 7 days- 4 countries (including US) and exploring new sights, sounds, and tastes. 7 days of eating all kinds of fancy exotic food being served to me at what amounts to a 5 star place. 7 days of somebody else picking up after me and making the bed 3 times a day, somebody else doing all the dishes. 7 days of not really thinking about real life or bills or how am i going to make some money to pay bills, etc.

I've been home 4 days. It's been rainy and getting colder. I'm trying to find new clients for the new the recording studio (www.easthall.com), and I don't know how we're going to pay the bills. It's a new year and there are a couple of resolutions i definately should make.... Of course, if I don't make'em, I won't break'em.

The cruise is definately over.

shackblog

So, we're currently in Houston at my friend's house and we and the Powers are getting around to head to the port to board our cruise ship!

I thought I'd check my email one more time before being disconnected from email/internet for the next 7 days. Then I find an email from CDbaby saying that they've sent me some money for digital downloads (i.e. things like itunes!)

This is the first time I've received a payment like this, so it's pretty cool. Also, I'm again impressed with CDbaby. If you've not spent any time out at CDbaby.com, you should check it out. And tell all your friends they need to download some songs from shack! :)

I hope everybody's had a safe and Happy New Years eve celebration. We're going to be spending the next 7 days soaking up the sun on Norwegian Cruise Lines. I'll fill you in when we get back.